


Christmas Marathon: 24 Days of Phan Fluff

by halo_dean



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: A lot of sleepy Dan, Advent Calendar, Advent Calendar Drabble, Boys Kissing, Christmas, Christmas Fluff, Cuddling & Snuggling, Dan needs a hug too, Domestic Phan, Drabble Collection, Fluff and Angst, I Blame Tumblr, I just love sleepy Dan, I'm Bad At Tagging, I'm not good at fluff but i'm sick of writing angst, Ice Skating, Illnesses, Knitting, M/M, Marriage Proposal, Mistletoe, One Shot Collection, Phan - Freeform, Phan Fluff, Phanfiction, Phil Needs a Hug, Phil gets sick, Protective Dan, Rave Tree, Sharing Clothes, Shy Dan, Sleepy Dan, Snow, Starbucks, Teenager AU, omg I'm a trainwreck, seasonal depression, so I'll try
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-01
Updated: 2016-12-24
Packaged: 2018-09-03 14:36:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 22
Words: 24,371
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8717707
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/halo_dean/pseuds/halo_dean
Summary: This is my first Phanfiction that I'm putting up here. Just a collection of fluffy Christmas Phan One-Shots, I hope you enjoy.I'll try to update it ever day until Christmas, but there's a lot of exams coming up so I'll probably not make it. I'll do my best though, I promise! :)





	1. Wake up, Dan

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope y'all enjoy reading this! :)

December 1st

“Wake up Dan. Wake up!”  
Dan cracked his eyes open as his dream was interrupted by Phil whispering into his ear softly. “Come on. It’s time, get up!”  
Dan made a muffled sound, hiding himself further in his blanket fort. The last thing he wanted to do was get up right now. His bed was so comfy, and his dream had been so pleasant, and he knew his entire body would get so cold the moment he’d leave his bed. “No.” he groaned, pulling at the sheets in an attempt to cover his face.  
He heard Phil chuckle and felt him tugging at the sheets. A warm, wide hand was placed on his shoulder.  
“Don’t you know what day it is? It’s finally December, love.”  
Dan frowned. Phil could see his hand gesturing questioningly underneath the black, plaid sheets.  
“So? That just means it’ll be even more fucking cold that yesterday.” He mumbled.  
Phil sighed and tried to pull the blanket off of Dan’s face, which resulted in Dan screaming indignantly and Phil letting out another sigh.

“Okay, fine. I don’t even mind. Let me just tell you, there’s a pretty cool gift in the advent calendar for you today, and if you’re not going to open it, I will.” Phil said with a devilish grin, turning to leave the room. He knew quite well that Dan would immediately get up if he realized that the reason Phil was waking him involved presents.  
He wasn’t disappointed. 

Phil heard quiet considerate muttering from behind him and glanced over his shoulder to be startled to death by a half dressed Dan Howell jumping out of the bed with pure, childish excitement burning in his eyes.  
“Get out of my way, Phil!” Dan shouted, and Phil was caught by surprise at how fast Dan could actually run.  
His boyfriend rushed past him into the hallway and disappeared into the lounge just seconds later, his large feet thudding on the grey carpet so loudly that Phil actually feared for their neighbor’s lives.  
After all these years he still manages to make me smile, Phil thought as he followed Dan into the living room.  
Dan was already sat on the couch with the present sat in his lap, patiently waiting for Phil to enter.  
They’d decided to do a calendar with actual presents this year because they both ate each other’s chocolate anyways and always ended up fighting who got to open the calendar first.  
So now there was a string leading from wall to wall with 12 neatly wrapped blue gifts on it and 12 miserable black ones. Phil just… didn’t like wrapping presents that much.

The black haired boy looked at Dan as he entered the room. His chocolate-colored hair had returned to its natural curly state and his arms were covered in goose bumps since he was only wearing pajama bottoms and a plain black t-shirt.  
“Come on, Phil, hurry up! I want to open it!” Dan urged Phil, impatiently tapping his red-socked foot on the couch.  
Phil yawned and nodded, heading over to sit next to him and asking himself if this was the same guy who had just wanted to spend the whole day in bed a minute ago.  
“Go on then.” He said, voice slightly slurry with sleep as he squeezed Dan’s right hand quickly with a grin. Dan was always so happy when the festive season came up, it was just adorable. 

He watched as Dan ripped the gift open, complaining about Phil’s poor wrapping skills. Phil was in love with how he laughed and threw his head back when a small, pastel green llama plush rolled into his lap, his dimples deep and hair messy, and asked himself what good he’d done to be with a person as wonderful, creative and perfect as Dan Howell.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this is it! I actually uploaded this! *so proud of myself*  
> I wrote this in latin class, please try to ignore grammar/vocab mistakes. English isn't my first language and my teacher was distracting me with talk of Ovid.  
> I hope you enjoyed reading! I would die if you left kudos or commets or bookmarks or anything really ily anyways.


	2. Nothing's as sweet as you

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Day two of the Christmas marathon and I'm not dying yet wohoo! Thank you guys for the amazing feedback on the last chapter! Here's more, enjoy.  
> Also, just to be clear, the plot of the chapters isn't connected in any way, they're all just lonesome smol storys on their own.

December 2nd 

"One grande gingerbread latte, please." Dan said to the redhaired parista in the green apron.  
It was an especially busy day at their favourite Starbucks, and Dan was already sick of the noise and of getting knocked into his sides with the other customers' elbows. The heated air made his hair stick in all directions and his feet flet like icecubes in his sneakers.

The only good thing about all this was Phil, pressed into his side like a small fluffy puppy in skinny jeans and his galaxy jacket, one arm wrappen loosely around Dan's waist. He was wearing his thick-rimmed glasses today because he'd been too lazy to put in his contact lenses in the morning.  
The air outside was crispy, and the windows and Phil's glasses were all fogged up because of the temperature difference.  
Dan smiled at him softly after telling the barista his name. 

Phil ordered a "king-sized cinammon chocolate" with "a ton of cream" and blushed a little, probably because that already sounded like diabetes at the ago of 35.  
Dan looked at Phil in a slightly shocked way.  
"Oh god, Phil. Does that count as a suicide attempt?" he murmured and Phil laughed and shook his head.  
"I don't think it will kill me, Dan." he said, knocking his elbow into Dan's side playfully."It does sound pretty sweet, though." he added and shrugged in a nonchalant way, pushing his glasses up the bridge of his nose and sweeping his hair away from his forehead.  
Dan looked at the people passing the to distract himself, bouncing on his heels slighly while trying not to grin widely at how adorably nerdy Phil looked when he did the thing with the glasses.  
"So your name is Phil, yeah?" he heard the barista say. By the time Phil answered, Dan was already focusing on the fogged up windows, which reminded him of the "A festive day in the life of Dan and Phil" video they'd made in December 2014 and smiling a little.

They hadn't even been together back then, Dan remembered. It felt so weird, thinking that he and Phil had only been dating for two months. They had of course lived together, but until then, never admitted, to each other or themselves, that they were actually in love. It was so weird to find how much things could change in just two months.

Dan's float down memory-lane was violently interrupted as he heard the barista say: "Oh, don't worry about it, Phil. I don't think your drink will be even half as sweet as you are."  
Dan turned around just in time to see the barsita wink and turn away. Phil stood there with his wallet out, his cheeks a bright pink and his mouth hanging open.  
"What?" Dan snapped, a bit too loud, confused and with his brows furrowed.  
Phil shook his head, closing his mouth and putting his wallet away. "I have no idea." he then murmured and huffed a laugh, stepping aside to let the next customer take his place in front of the counter.  
Dan took a deep breath, ready to make a scene, but Phil put his hand on his arm and smiled a pained smile. "Come on, Dan. Let's just go find a table." he sighed and squeezed Dan's wrist slightly, dropping his hand afterwards.

They proceeded to search for a table, but they couldn't find a free one and decided to just wait at the counter and take their drinks outside.  
Dan leaned a bit closer to Phil, who was still shell-shocked and confused, shaking his head and scoffing every now and then. "Did she just…? Did that barista just flirt with you?" Dan hissed, still with a frown on his face. Phil shrugged. "I think so." "But-" Dan protested, grabbing Phil's arm. "But I'm your boyfriend! How- is she- is she even allowed to do that?" he whispered, all flustered and sulking like a little boy.  
Phil chuckled. "I guess she is allowed to. But you're really cute when you're jealous, so I'm kind of glad she did." he murmured, grinning at Dan smugly, who immediately crossed his arms and glared at Phil.  
"I'm not jealous. Why would I be jealous?"  
Phil just nodded at him with a grin.  
"No. No you're not. That's probably why your face is so red right now." Phil started cackling and threw his head back while Dan just glared at him, rolling his eyes over and over again until the barista shouted their names.

They headed over to get their drinks, and when Phil smiled at his incredibly sweet-looking hot chocolate, Dan took the opportunity to kiss him on the cheek softly, side-glancing at the barista who sudddenly turned a deep shade of red and opened her mouth to say something, just to be cut off by Dan.  
"See, Philly? Nothing's as sweet as you."  
Phil blushed and threw her an apologetic look over his shoulder, mouthing "sorry" before Dan dragged him out of the store.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes, I did use the worst pick-up line ever. Don't judge me, I suck at flirting.  
> I hope you enjoyed reading this and I would be honored if you left kudos or comments. See you loves!


	3. Even on rainy days

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Day three of the Christmas marathon. Enjoy!

December 3rd

Phil threw the wooden door shut with a deep sigh and was greeted by the heavy silence of their semi-dark apartment.  
His fingers were stiff from the constant cold spray of London rain as he unbuttoned his coat and took off his drenched sneakers, and he rubbed his hands to get them at least a bit warmer before grabbing the two bags of groceries again.  
"Dan? Bear, are you home?" he shouted up the stairs into the cool apartment.

When after a beat there was no answer, Phil sighed again and ascended the stairs to take the groceries to the kitchen.  
He looked outside the window as he put them in their places. It had been drizzling all day, his whole body felt slightly damp and his hair was plastered to his forehead in a way that reminded him of the time when the boiler in his first flat had been broken, forcing him to use only cold water for over two weeks in February.  
Phil grabbed a kitchen towel, started rubbing his hair and told himself that not every day in December would feel like this, not this grey, not this full of sighing. He constantly felt like he was on the edge of crying somehow, as if even the tiniest problem could send him over and to the floor, sobbing like a 12-year old.  
The sky was overcast with grey clouds, chasing each other just like the people on the streets of his hometown chased their business and looked even duller and caught up in their own lives than usual.

He threw the towel back on the kitchen counter and decided to look for his boyfriend in the lounge. Maybe he was home, just playing a video game or scrolling through Tumblr.  
He left the kitchen and shivered slightly. He should probably get changed into some warmer, less wet clothes, make himself a cup of tea to keep warm and prevent getting a cold, but as soon as he thought about it, he shook his head, thinking that it didn't matter. He always got a cold at some point in December anyway, he might as well get it over with right now, he thought.  
"Dan?!" he shouted again, reaching for the door handle to enter the lounge.  
Dan was sat in front of the fireplace in his Totoro onesie, wrapped in a blanket with his laptop and his camera sat in front of him.  
When Phil entered the room, he looked up, pulled his headphones and hood off and smiled. His hair was a curly mess, not straightened as usual. Phil figured he hadn't even left the house.

"Oh, hey Phil. How was going outside?" Dan asked, his smile turning into a mocking smirk pretty quickly. Phil forced a smile.  
"Rainy. What are you up to?" he asked back as he walked up to Dan to kneel next to him.  
"I made a video about how weird Christmas is. As in, existential crisis material weird. Why do we even bother to get presents or put up a tree? What's the point of all this, Phil? Yeah, stuff like that." Dan grinned sheepishly and shrugged. Phil sighed deeply and felt his shoulders drop and that annoying part of him, repeating the words "What's the point of all this, Phil?" over and over.  
"I don't know what the point is, Dan. Damn, I really don't have a clue why I like Christmas so much. Isn't it just something Christians have made up to get through the winter without dying of solitude and sadness?"  
Dan frowned at him. Wasn't it usually him saying this stuff and Phil listening?

"Phil… are you okay? What happened?" Dan shuffled in closer and put his arm around Phil's damp-shirted shoulder.  
Phil shrugged and sniffled, finally feeling his eyes well up with tears. "I don't know, nothing, really. It's just been a bad day, that's all. I need a distraction." he mumbled and tried not to look at Dan. He wasn't sure if that was even the truth, if he was just not feeling well or if there was something more to this after all.  
He saw Dan smirk a little from the corner of his eye. "What do you mean? A distraction or a… distraction?"  
"I don't know. Is there any way to combine those two?"  
Dan nodded. "Why yes, of course there is. No Netflix and chill for us today, then we could just actually watch some Netflix and cuddle up. I don't like that meme anyway." he said, closing the laptop and pushing it off of his lap.

When Phil didn't answer and started fiddling with the corner of Dan's blanket, his glossy eyes glued to the floor, Dan sighed quietly, leaned in and hugged him tightly.  
"What's the matter, Phil? Talk to me…" he whispered into Phil's ear, sounding desperate and worried.  
"I don't know what's wrong with me, Dan. I just- I'm so cold. I don't like winter, and I don't like this city, and I don't like feeling like this." Phil rambled quietly, his voice a broken, hoarse hum against Dan's neck.  
Dan pulled back carefully and smiled at his boyfriend softly.  
"You will stop feeling like this at some point. Trust me, I've been there. It might be cold and grey most days, and yes, I agree that London can be the most depressing city in the whole wide world, but here and now, that's- that's also where you've got me. It's where we are together."  
He stopped talking to look at Phil and eye his sad expression with his lips parted slightly, looking for something, not knowing what.  
Dan lifted his hand and caressed Phil's cool cheek with his warm fingers gently.  
"Phil… I love you. Even on rainy days."  
And when Dan said that sentence, with so much kind honesty in his brown eyes and an adorable grin playing around his lips that made the corners of his mouth dig into his cheeks, a tiny smile sneaked onto Phil's face.  
He wiped his eyes with the back of his hand and sniffled once more.

"Thanks, Dan." he answered after a while, and their eyes met, and they both started giggling breathlessly.  
Dan wrapped his arm around Phil's neck, pulled him in, pressed a quick kiss to his forehead and then got up.  
He held his hand out to Phil, the older boy looking up at him.  
"Now. How about we get you some dry clothes, warm up a pizza and watch some horribly cheesy Christmas anime?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hmm this turned out a bit less angsty than I intended, but I hope you liked it anyway. Also, I already have most of the plot for the chapters planned, but there's still like six ones missing, so if you have any ideas, prompts or suggestions, go ahead and tell me down in the comments or message me on tumblr, my username is nordpolkind.  
> Hugs!


	4. Mistletoe

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Day four of the christmas marathon and I'm starting to lose my mind and sleeping schedule, but it's fine lol. So, this one's a bit longer. My knowledge of PJ's love life and his flat are just sad, pls don't judge me. I hope you enjoy reading, feedback is always welcome! :)

December 4th

“Who are all these people? I didn’t know PJ even had so many friends.” Dan said to Louise as they stood in their friend’s living room, cups of punch in their hands.  
Louise shrugged. “He told me most of them are Sophie’s. She invited them so that they could actually call this a party. I’m glad you and Phil could make it, though, I don’t really know a lot of these people.”  
Dan shrugged it off. “It’s not like we have anything else to do, is it?”  
Louise huffed a laugh, nudging him with her elbow.  
“By the way, you two seem very comfortable around each other recently. Is there… something I should know about?” she asked curiously, eyeing him as she took a sip from her cup.  
Dan tried to ignore his friend’s wide smirk and felt a blush creep up his cheeks, dying his ears a soft pink in the warm, mildly loud, darkened room.  
Yes, he wanted to say, yes of course there is, Louise. We’ve been together for two months now, and I love him, god, I love him so much. I never thought I’d like someone like this again, I didn’t think I could. I didn’t think I could love Phil, but I do, I do.

“No. I don’t think we could actually be together for more than two days without pissing each other off. I mean, not like physically together. We are already kind of together. I mean we’re friends. We live in the same apartment. But like, I don’t think we could be in a relationship. We’d be at each other’s throats in no time and not in a sexy way…”  
He stopped with a slight frown, asking himself what he was even trying to say. Louise burst into laughter, working hard not to spill her punch all over her hand and her blouse.  
“Bloody hell, Louise, you’re the nosiest person I know.” Dan grumbled, and when she didn’t stop laughing and the other guests started throwing them looks and whispering, he knocked his elbow into her side, which led to her finally spilling her punch all over her arm.  
“Goddammit, Howell! You should go find your boyfriend and ask him to protect you, because as soon as I will get this stuff off of me, I will find you and I will skin you!” she shouted, glaring and pointing her finger at him sarcastically. Dan started giggling, trying to hold his hand as still as possible to not end up the same way as her, his shoulders pressing harder into the wall. She threw him a grin before turning and disappearing into the kitchen.

Dan took a sip of his punch and asked himself if it contained alcohol. If so, it probably wasn’t that much, he told himself. Dan let his eyes wander around the room, look at the people crowding it and the decorations PJ and Sophie had put up. There were fairy lights, snowflakes and fir branches that spread a wonderful, festive smell. The lights had a soft golden gloom to them. Or was that just the punch? Dan took another sip of said bitter-sweet drink and suddenly spotted a small, green object above the dining room door. Was that a mistletoe?  
Dan narrowed his eyes in an attempt to get a better look at it, but soon just shrugged it off.  
“We still need to put up some stuff at our place soon.” Dan thought and decided to go look for Phil to not look too introverted.

He strolled out of the lounge into the dining room, where he spotted Sophie, offering cookies to the people that stood by and chatting with them.  
“Hey Sophie!” Dan said, pushing his way through the other guests as he walked up to her, his punch at his shoulder level which was, as always, a bit higher than average.  
She turned around and smiled when she saw Dan, stepping forward to make way for a girl with blue hair and glasses.  
“Have you seen Phil anywhere?” he asked her when they met somewhere in the middle of the room, surrounded by the loudly chatting crowd.  
“Yes, I have, actually. He was in the kitchen, helping PJ with the curry. He took all my vanilla biscuits. Do you want some?”  
She offered him the plate with a grin. He thanked her and took two chocolate cookies, then waved her goodbye to go to the kitchen.

Following the scent of rice and Indish food, he soon found it and saw PJ, Louise and Phil, all gathered around a gigantic, bubbling pot of rice.  
“Hey guys.” Dan greeted them, leaning against the doorframe with his free hand buried deeply in the pocket of his black skinny jeans. The three looked up, and Phil smiled at him widely.  
“Where have you been, Dan?” Phil asked and left the others to stare at the rice. He came towards Dan and stood next to him, pressing a swift, soft kiss to his clothed shoulder, making Dan blush a little.  
He saw PJ smirk slightly, and Louise gasped, tugging at PJ’s sleeve and whispering something into his ear that Dan couldn’t quite understand.  
“Out in the wilderness of PJ’s poorly cleaned flat, looking for you.” Dan answered and frowned as PJ and Louise started giggling quietly, both trying hard not to laugh and covering their mouths with their hands.  
“What’s so funny?” Dan asked them with a confused look and barely noticed Phil’s hand, touching his wrist, tapping his palm, desperately searching for some sort of discrete physical contact. Dan didn’t mind. He was so used to Phil’s touch by now; it really didn’t make a difference anymore.  
What did make a difference though, were Louise and PJ, who were now both bubbling over with laughter, PJ’s hand clinging onto the edge of the counter for dear life.  
“Look yourself, Dan!” Louise croaked out, pointing at a spot right above Dan and Phil’s heads.

The two lifted their faces slowly, to see a small, green mistletoe, dangling off the doorframe innocently, unaware of the walls it had just brought down around the two boys.  
They both took a moment to process what this meant.  
“You two have to kiss!” PJ shouted, and Louise shot Dan a wolfish grin, which probably meant that she’d planned this whole thing in advance.

Suddenly, the flat was a lot more quiet, and everybody in the lounge had stopped talking to stare at Dan and Phil in the doorway.  
“What?!” Dan shrieked, backing away from Phil, his heart thudding loudly in his chest at all the sudden attention. When he looked at Phil for moral support, he was surprised to not see him freaking out, too. No, Phil looked totally fine, a shy smile playing around his lips. Dan swallowed hard and looked around himself.  
He’d kissed Phil so often over the past two months, a hundred times in their apartment, in public toilets, hidden from society’s gaze, in dressing rooms and cars, hotel rooms, cinemas, hallways, the backs of theatres and alleys, hell, even on the street sometimes, but never in front of other people, his friends.  
No, it wasn’t kissing Phil that bothered him about all this. It was the environment he’d have to kiss Phil in.

Their relationship was something very private and intimate to him, and he wasn’t ready to show it, to share it with anyone else. He was too afraid it’d shift somehow, twist and turn and change into something else, something different. He was too afraid it’d get out of hand, go viral, somehow end up in the hands of their fans for them all to pull and tear at it.  
He didn’t want this. He wanted people to stop staring and to stop giggling, wanted them all to stop shouting, cheering, saying encouraging things, and he wanted everyone to stop smiling.  
He didn’t want to be in this place, he just wanted to disappear.

“Dan.”

He was ripped out of his anxious thoughts when Phil said his name quietly and took his hand. Dan’s widened eyes found his, and he was smiling, and Dan tried to hold onto them, focus on them, focus on Phil and how much he loved him.  
Phil lifted his hand to caress Dan’s cheek softly, eyeing his twisted, sad face up and down, searching, adoring.

“Don’t be scared. It’s okay.” He whispered, and of course, everybody could hear it, but Dan knew it was just for him to hear. It was only meant for him, and somehow, it managed to make him relax.  
It managed to make him believe it was okay.

Dan swallowed, and nodded slowly, and before he could change his mind, he put the annoying cup aside, took Phil’s face into his hands and leaned down to kiss him.

Phil’s lips were soft and warm, they tasted of punch and slightly of curry, and most importantly, they made Dan forget where they were. Phil pulled him closer at the collar of his shirt and smiled against his lips. Neither of them noticed their friends shouting, cheering around them. They were too caught up in the intimacy of the moment, and what it meant.  
It meant that they no longer had to hide their relationship; it was out anyway, and proving all of Dan’s doubts and fears wrong, it didn’t feel weird at all.  
It was just another one of their kisses, with Phil wrapped around him and his heart fluttering in his chest like a tiny bird that flew across rooftops and trees, ascending further and further into the light of a beautiful day.

It wasn’t a particularly long or deep kiss, but the intimacy and the meaning Phil managed to put into it made Dan want to stay in this moment forever. Here, where he didn’t have to hide his love, surrounded by the people that loved and supported him no matter what he did or was.  
They broke away at some point, both struggling to catch their breath and pressing their foreheads together.  
He heard someone say “Finally.” and everybody laughing faintly.

“So, it’s out now, huh?” Dan whispered as Phil opened his eyes that Dan love so much. This time, Dan was pretty sure only Phil could hear him. The other boy grinned softly, wrapping his arms around Dan’s neck.  
“Yeah. How do we feel about that?” he asked.  
Dan huffed a laugh. “Not so bad after all.”  
Phil smiled and pressed another quick kiss to his boyfriend’s lips before pulling away to make room for PJ and Louise, both carrying pans and pots and screaming “We knew it all along!!” to get everyone’s attention.

The two stood in the doorway a little longer, their fingers intertwined and Phil with his head leaned against Dan’s chest.  
“Are you hungry?” Phil asked after a while, lifting his head and replacing it with his flat hand.  
Dan nodded wildly and put his arm around Phil’s shoulder. “As hell.” he said, and wrapped in each other’s arms, they left the kitchen and followed their friends into the warm, welcoming dining room.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes, I know, I could have ended it on smut, but I just didn't feel like it, you know. I hope you enjoyed reading and I'll see you tomorrow!  
> I'd be honored if you left kudos, comments or even bookmarks. Hugs!


	5. We’re home

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Day 5 of the christmas marathon! Please guys, I'm desperately in need of some cute fluffy christmas headcanons or prompts. If you have any, feel free to tell me down in the comments or on my tumblr, which is nordpolkind.tumblr.com. Thank you so much, and enjoy reading!

December 5th

Since they had arrived at Phil’s parents’ place up in Manchester, the only thing Dan ever talked about was the snow.  
They rarely ever got to see any of it in London, and now, the first thing Dan did when they woke up in the morning, was jump out of bed and rip open the curtains to look at the white, powdery wonderland outside.  
“Phil, look!” he’d shout, and drag Phil and his glasses to the window to stare outside with him.  
But Phil never really looked at what Dan wanted to show him. He rather looked at Dan himself, with his bedhead and slightly swollen eyes, in an old t-shirt and with the most adorable look in his eyes, his breath fogging up the glass.  
Whatever it was nature offered him, a white blanket after a whole night of snowfall or a thin layer of hoarfrost on bare trees and cars, Dan was always more beautiful.

They slowly got dressed and rolled out of Phil’s old, green childhood bedroom at about 9:30am to join Phil’s parents for breakfast.  
Phil had expected things to get awkward after finally coming out to them as bisexual and Dan’s boyfriend, but they’d just nodded, said it was okay and that they’d kind of suspected it all along, and then proceeded to asking questions like “How long have you two been together then?”, “How did you become a couple?” or “Are you going to tell your fans?”.  
It had taken Dan and Phil a whole evening with the four of them gathered around the fireplace to answer all their questions and tell them their story.

Tell them how they’d spent almost the whole last year on a tour bus together that only had one proper bed and the closest quarters, how the small spaces and the shows themselves had practically forced them to get even more comfortable around each other.  
How being apart had started feeling weird, scary even. Apparently, the label “Dan and Phil”, which presented them as one being, had had an effect on them after all. Soon, they started feeling insecure and anxious when they were by themselves.  
And with all that adding up, they’d come to a point where the borders, the lines in their minds had gotten so blurry that they disappeared, and it turned out that kissing and touching each other felt better than they’d both expected. It didn’t really make a difference if they were friends or boyfriends, they loved each other either way, and kissing was always nice, especially if you had to spend half a year on a bus together.

Somehow, they got through all the awkward questions without dying of embarrassment, and now, Phil was a lot more comfortable. He could sit at the table and have a bowl of cereal, chat with his family while holding Dan’s hand under the table, and nobody would mind.  
Today they had planned to drive into town to go shopping for Christmas presents, but after a day of running around cold streets and overheated stores, Dan and Phil apologised at 4pm, saying they’d had enough of Manchester, that they saw big cities every day and that they wanted to go and relax at the house for some time.  
Phil’s parents said they understood and that they’d meet them at home for dinner. 

It felt weird to drive to his childhood house with Dan behind the steering wheel: it had something so domestic and homely, something that made Phil smile all the way through sleepy, snowy, late afternoon suburban neighbourhoods.  
Phil was asleep with his head against the window by the time Dan pulled into the driveway.  
He switched off the engine and turned his head to look at his boyfriend in the passenger seat.

“Phil, sweetie. We’re home.” He whispered, leaning over to press a kiss to the older boy’s cheek. Phil cracked his eyes open with a small yawn and looked out of the window, slightly disorientated. When he recognized the snow-covered terrace and the garage, Dan saw a smile spread over the reflection’s face on the car window.

“You’re right, we are.” Phil murmured and squeezed Dan’s cool hand slightly before opening the door to get out of the car. Dan heard his sneakers crunch on the frozen snow in the driveway and listened to him breathing in the crisp, fresh evening air.  
A cloud of fog stood in front of Phil’s pale face in the dark, and Dan couldn’t help but sigh.  
Phil looked like he’d jumped straight out of a painting, and Dan didn’t know how he deserved to be with someone as beautiful as him.  
He stepped out of the car, too and threw the door shut, locking it with shaking hands.  
“It’s fucking cold out here, Phil! How did we of all people survive actually living in this polar zone?” he shouted and heard Phil chuckle quietly as he passed around the front of the car to stand next to Dan. They leaned against the car’s door and looked at each other, both breathing flatly. Dan took Phil’s hand and stared at their intertwined fingers as if he’d never seen something that beautiful. 

“I love you, you know?” Phil said after a while, a soft smile playing around his lips.  
“And I’m so, so happy I get to spend my life with you.”

Dan blinked. His lips parted as he realized what Phil had just said, and tried not to think about his answer for too long. “What do the fans say? 2022, is it? The year of our wedding?” Phil pushed himself off of the door to frown at Dan. 

“Are you serious?” he asked with a slight chuckle under his breath, lifting his eyebrows. Dan shrugged and nodded, grinning at Phil recklessly. 

”You’d really want that? Oh my god, Dan, you do realize that you’d be stuck with me literally until we die, right?” Phil breathed, and his heart was thudding loudly in his chest, and his knees felt like they were going to give in.  
Dan shrugged again with a sheepish smile. “I don’t think I still get to make that decision. I made it so, so long ago, Phil. I love you. And I’ll spend the rest of my life with you, if that’s what you want.”

Phil laughed at first, still not sure if Dan was joking or if he actually meant what he said, but Dan's face was blank and serious and adoring as he looked down into Phil's blue eyes, and Phil knew he meant it. And he put his hands around Dan's neck and stood on his toes to kiss him sweetly, the kind of nonchalant kiss couples shared in movies if they wanted to say yes without turning the other person's hair into a mess.

"2022, huh? Do we really have to wait that long, though, Dan?" Phil breathed into his boyfriend's neck after they broke away. They'd absolutely failed at keeping the kiss sweet, and now they were both panting and grinning, and Phil's hair was all dishevelled. 

“However, Phil, can we discuss the details of whatever this is inside? I’m freezing my tits off.” Dan interrupted the silence that build up between them with a slight chuckle under his breath, and Phil laughed again, and dragged Dan up the path to the bright, big house that had its carpets spread and its shutters open, welcoming the two lovers home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, so this spun WILDLY out of controle. I wasn't planning a proposal, seriously, it just happened, I'm sorry. I had to come up with a concept really quickly because british people, you poor bastasrds, don't have what we here in Germany call "Nikolaus". If you don't know what that is, go look it up.  
> I promise, no more proposals in this collection. As I said, the plot of the chapters isn't connected, so they aren't actually going to get married or anything, don't worry. (You'd probably like that, right? Well, sorry, not happening haha.)  
> I hope you enjoyed reading and I'll see you tomorrow! :)


	6. Cold nights

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Day six of the christmas marathon! So we're already one quarterway through this whole Advent-thing... how do I feel about that? I think I'm going to miss it a lot... Enjoy reading!

December 6th

Dan woke up in the middle of the night, wrapped tightly in his plaid blanket and shaking to the core.  
It was freezing cold in his bedroom.  
The heating had broken down yesterday morning, and since both he and Phil had zero homeworker skills, they’d decided to best stay away from it to not blow something up or burn the house down.  
Dan sat up slowly and curled his arms around his own body in an attempt to shield himself from the biting air, and tried to think of some way to get warm.

He could just put warmer clothes on or get another blanket, but what he really longed for, was sleeping next to Phil.  
They still did that sometimes, especially when after the America-tour, where they’d shared the only proper bed in the bus’s main bedroom for over 2 months, they both couldn’t sleep very well without the other person next to them.

But today they slept in separate beds, and Dan’s teeth started clattering, and he really, really missed sleeping next to Phil with his warmth and his slow, steady breathing and his legs and his arms tangled with Dan’s. And he was pretty sure Phil missed it, too.  
Why did that heating always break in December, for god’s sake?

Dan grabbed his blanket and blinked sleepily, eyeing the pitch-black room. He could barely see anything at all and soon gave it up, stood shakily, still shivering and dragged his blanket across the room to open the door.  
He peeked into the hallway and waited for the flat to make a sound. He always did that when he woke up at night, he didn’t really know why. Maybe he was afraid of burglars or demons; he really didn’t have a proper reason. 

Dan kept his eyes fixed on the silvery moonlight that dragged its thin fingers over the walls and the carpet, falling in through the glass door that led into the kitchen.  
When he didn’t hear anything after a while, he slipped out of his bedroom to gently shut the door behind himself and step across the hallway.

Warm, pleasant air that smelled of coffee and Phil’s raspberry shower gel embraced Dan when he opened the door to his boyfriend’s bedroom.  
It was semi-dark in here, the streetlights outside the window illuminating the room, the branches of the trees throwing their shadow’s silhouettes all over the floor and the bottom end of the bed, where Dan could see Phil’s feet sticking out from under the blanket, as always in non-matching socks.  
Dan scuffled over to the bed, his feet feeling as cold as ice cubes and sat down on the edge, facing Phil, before lying down and shuffling closer to his sleeping boyfriend.  
“Phil…” Dan whispered, and Phil’s eyelids fluttered.  
“Dan…? What are you doing here?”  
“I’m cold. Can I stay?” Dan asked, his voice sounding all slurry with sleep, and the corners of Phil’s mouth twitched. He lifted the free side of his green blanket, offering Dan the warm space at his chest.  
“Yes, of course. Come’ here.” He pulled Dan’s cool body in and wrapped his arm around his middle, remembering the ‘cosplaying as a backpack’ tweet before falling back asleep with his face buried in the soft locks of Dan’s hair. 

Dan nuzzled into Phil with a content, lazy smile and looked at the shadows of the trees for a while. He listened to the older boy’s heartbeat, thudding against his back steadily, a slow rhythm that soon took over everything else. He fell back asleep soon, sang to by the lullaby of his lover’s heartbeat, and it was freezing and raining outside, but Dan had Phil now, and he wasn’t feeling that cold anymore.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know this is a pretty short chapter, but I really have to study for my physics exam and I couldn't get myself to upload another chapter, I just find this one way too cute. I promise the next one will be longer again.  
> I also want to take this opportunity to thank all of you for reading my writing. I really appreciate your support, guys. I'd be honored if you blessed my work with kudos or comments, thank you so much! I'll see you tomorrow. Hugs! :)


	7. Jumpers

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Since the website was down on Wednesday (who did this) and I had my whole universe being ripped apart violently because I couldn't fulfill my schedule, here's the new, very messy chapter from yesterday. Enjoy reading!

December 7th

Dan was sat in the lounge with his browsing position enabled, reading fanfiction lazily, when he heard the front door open and close.  
His head shot up immediately, alarmed as he heard Phil’s steps on the stairs, and shoved the laptop off his belly, jumping up and vigorously ripping the grey UFO-Christmas jumper he’d stolen from his boyfriend off his body.  
It wasn’t his fault he’d had to steal it; Phil had been gone for almost the whole past week, always having something to do, always busy and never with Dan, who just missed him, for god’s sake.  
Unfortunately, the jumper was a bit tight around the shoulders because Dan’s were wider than Phil’s, and its sleeve got stuck on Dan’s elbow. He spat out a quiet “Dammit!” and tried to yank it off with his other hand, but it wouldn’t move, and Dan started sweating slightly in his struggle. This is the most exercise I’ve done since revising ‘The internet is here’… Dan thought and groaned quietly when he suddenly heard the lounge door open.

“What the… heck are you doing Dan?” his boyfriend sounded confused and amused, a little exhausted and breathy, either because his day had been exhausting or because of the stairs.  
Dan sighed and his shoulders dropped. “What do you think I’m doing?” he replied.  
“Is that my jumper?”  
It sounded like Phil was getting closer to get a better look, but Dan wasn’t sure, he couldn’t see it because the jumper was  
covering his eyes.

“Maybe…” Dan mumbled, still struggling to fight the grey fabric.  
There was a beat of silence until Phil shouted “It is! Why’d you take my jumper?”  
An annoyed, muffled groan escaped Dan’s lips.  
“I just took it because you weren’t here and I missed y-“He scoffed and lifted his arms and turned his head. “For God’s sake, Phil, why can’t you just help me get it off already?!” he shouted back, Phil covered his mouth with his hand to repressed a giggle and tugged at the hem of the jumper, which resulted in it immediately coming off.

Dan blinked multiple times, trying to get used to the light difference. He knew that his hair was probably standing straight up with static, but before he could fix it, Phil had already lifted his hand to do it himself.  
“Thanks.” Dan mumbled with his eyes glued to the floor.  
Phil shook his head and scoffed a laugh.  
“No problem. So, again, why’d you take it? I didn’t quite understand what you said.” Phil grinned cheekily. Of course he’d understood it just fine; he just wanted Dan to say it again.

The younger boy sighed sharply, rolled his eyes and handed Phil the jumper.  
“I took it because I missed you, you twat. And it smelled of your cologne, so it reminded me of you. You’ve been quite busy recently, and it’s just been a bit lonely around here.”  
Phil put the jumper on the couch and his hands on Dan’s tense shoulders, rubbing them softly with a small smile.  
“I’m here now.” He said, and Dan laughed.  
“Yes, you are.”

“You know you could have just come outside with me, Dan. Fresh air isn’t toxic, you know.” Dan tilted his head and muttered considerately.  
“Hmm… are you sure about that air toxicity thing? Have you forgotten where we live?”  
Phil grinned and turned around to take the sweater up from the couch again, Dan whining slightly at the loss of contact on his shoulders.  
“You can keep it. The fans will like that. Also, it suits you way better than me.” Phil said, shooting Dan a wink and then leaving him with the soft, grey jumper in his hands.

“By the way, I brought you Maltsters, you sweater-stealing dork!” he shouted from the hallway, and Dan’s mouth spread into a laugh, asking: “Is it a big bag? Size matters!” putting the warm jumper back on as he followed his boyfriend into the kitchen.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Things will go back to normal now, let's all take a moment to thank God for fixing the site. I don't think I could have lasted another day. (You have all my devoted atheistic blessings, bearded friend. *blows kiss to the sky*) I hope you enjoyed, thank you for reading and I will see you tomorrow!


	8. Phan!!! on Ice

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Day 8 of the Christmas marathon!  
> (What do they say, two chapters a' day keep the doctor away? #stopmeandmyhorrifyinglybadpuns2k16)  
> I hope you enjoy reading this messy thing! It was inspired by me stubbing my toe and then not being able to attend to PE class, in which case I'd have had to put on ice skaters and die. Everyone was better off without me on the ice.  
> I hope you enjoy reading!

December 8th 

"Do we really have to do this, Phil?" Dan groaned discontentedly, looking at the rented, black leather ice skaters in his gloved, yet cold hands.  
Phil threw him an encouraging smile. "Oh, come on, cheer up, Dan! I don't think it'll be that hard. Just a few rounds, do it for me."  
"Really, Phil, I knew letting you watch another sports anime wasn't a good idea. I should have stopped you when I had the chance. I know how bad it gets."

Phil was already wearing his pair of skaters, and Dan couldn't help but think that he looked absolutely fabulous. He was pretty sure nobody but Phil could pull off those things combined with black skinny jeans, a galaxy jacket and a grey scarf, and still look radiantly cool and hot in a weird way.  
But Dan wasn't so sure about all this.

It had been Phil's idea in the first place. He'd spent the last few days just watching and rewatching the only ten episodes of his new obsession called 'Yuri!!! on ice' that existed, and that was probably what had got him the crazy idea of actually going outside to a skating rink with Dan to learn ice skating.  
Dan didn't actually want to do this, but he couldn't let Phil, who was probably the clumsiest person alive on the planet, go ice skating on his own, so here he was, somewhere in the middle of London in a surprisingly busy and gigantic hall with an ice rink in the middle, with what seemed like hundreds of people cruising around the place to the loudest version of 'Last Christmas' Dan had ever heard.

"I'm scared." he said quietly, and he actually was. He really, really had never wanted to not have to take off his sneakers this much; they were comfy, they were wide, and they didn't have vats.  
"Naw, don't be. I'm here, Dan, nothing bad is going to happen to you." Phil took his hand and smiled at him.  
Dan didn't even know what he was so afraid of. Probably falling and making a fool of himself. He'd literally never been on ice in his life ever, and he didn't want to, either.

"Dan, please. I really want to try this." Phil whispered, and after a beat added: "You don't even have to let go of my hand if you don't want to."  
Dan smiled sadly and rolled his eyes. "Okay, fine. Just a few rounds, right?"

Phil nodded wildly and grinned. "Just a few rounds. Now, put those things on. I bet you'll look fabulous in them."  
Dan scoffed and turned to sit down on the wooden bench. He slipped out of his sneakers, leaving his feet in his grey socks, already starting to freeze and started putting on the left skate.

It took a while, but after some swearing and kicking, he had his feet buried in the ice skates and stood up shakily, feeling incredibly uncomfortable.  
He made a whining sound when Phil eyed him up and down with a wolfish smirked. "You look good. Ridiculous, but… good."  
Dan pulled a face. "Wow, thanks, Phil. I know I look like an idiot, you don't have to tell me."  
"I didn't say that." Phil replied, cocking an eyebrow and grabbing Dan's hand, and they both staggered towards the entrance of the ice rink.

When Dan's feet touched the ice for the first time, he knew he was going to get himself killed in no time if he did this for too long.  
Contrary to his boyfriend, who just stood there with his feet turned in and his hands clinging on to the safety fence for dear life, Phil felt weirdly comfortable. He did a few steps and immediately fell in love with the scratching sound the vats made when dragging over the ice, and the sliding, freefall feeling it gave him.

"Phil, wait up!" Dan shouted behind him as he picked up speed, staggering sometimes but never quite falling. He soon figured out how to direct and slow down his skating, and he smiled to himself, amazed at the simplicity of the whole thing. Wasn't he the one who was supposed to fall and stagger, trip and collapse and kill three people by sliding across the whole skating rink?  
Wasn't he supposed to be laughed at and helped up by Dan by now, or to have broken several bones?  
Yes, he was supposed to be bad at this, but how come he left Dan far behind and was being looked at by other people then?

Dan watched Phil from behind, how he whirled and slid, and felt unbelievably untalented. He was very slow and very anxious, always watching his feet and never able to get his hand away from the safety fence. Wasn't Phil supposed to be right beside him, holding his hand so that he didn't have to be scared of falling?

"Phil, wait!" Dan shouted again, plucked up all his courage and took his hand off of the rail.

The last thing he saw before he was send flying to the ground was Phil, turning around with the brightest and happiest smile Dan had ever seen.

It only took the beat of an eyelash, and Phil was beside him, helping him up and caressing his rosy cheek softly.  
"Are you okay, Dan?" he asked, stepping closer to eye Dan's slightly scratched open palms.  
Dan shrugged and sniffled.  
"Can I get off this ice rink now, please?" he asked tiredly, and Phil nodded, his eyes filled with warmth.  
"Of course, Dan. Go and get yourself a punch or something, and just sit up there with all those excited parents, see them? You have your phone with you, don't you? I just don't want to stop doing this just now. I think I'm good at this."

Dan huffed a laugh. "Good? Don't you think that's a bit of an understatement? You're amazing, Phil!"  
He could see a slight blush creeping up his boyfriend's pale cheeks as he grinned smugly. "Was that pun intended?"  
The younger boy shook his head and leaned down to kiss Phil's cheek softly, taking his hand. "I'm just expressing an opinion and I have no idea what you mean." he said innocently and Phil let out a soft chuckle.  
He escorted the brown eyed boy to the gate of the rink, and then, after Dan had climbed out, glad to be be back on proper ground, he drove off again, lining up with the stream of people that rotated around the ice rink, listening to the horrible sound of Mariah Carey and still not able to stop smiling.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What the fuck did I just write. I hope you enjoyed reading and I'll see you tomorrow! :)


	9. Sore necks and knitting needles

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay so I do suck at updating, the last few days of my messy life have just been pretty busy. Sorry, guys, I hope you survived this weekend without me ;-). At least now you get three chapters on one day, isn't that amazing. Enjoy reading loves!!

December 9th 

"Ow, Phil!" Dan whined as they sat at the lounge table in the evening, bowls of pasta in front of them.  
Phil lifted his head to look at his sulking boyfriend. "What is it, Dan?"

Dan put his hand to the back of his own neck and started massaging it, flinching every now and then when he hit the tense spots.  
"My neck. It still hurts like hell." Dan pulled a face at Phil and tilted his head to both sides. "Ugh, I hate my life." he groaned, and Phil put his spoon back into his bowl. Dan had been complaining about his stiff neck like a seventy-year old for days.  
"Maybe you should change something about your browsing position, or at least sit upright sometimes." he suggested with a shrug, and Dan threw him a weird look.  
"What the hell, Phil? You're not sitting upright either!" he shouted, nudging his boyfriends hunched shoulder.

Phil shrugged. "I'm not complaining about back problems, though, am I, Dan?"

Dan rolled his eyes and pushed his shoulders back to sit up straight for a second, before he dropped his position again and stared at his bowl discontentedly.  
"I don't think that's it, Phil. It's more of a cold-thing." he said and put his hand back on his neck.

Phil eyed him for a second, then grabbed his spoon and took a bite of his food.  
"It might be. You could just buy a scarf or something." he suggested and grinned as Dan wrinkled his nose. "A scarf?! Are you kidding me? I look ridiculous with those things!"  
Phil shrugged with a sheepish smile. "I think you look very intellectual and stuff. Besides, you never go outside anyway, so nobody except me would see it. If you don't want to leave the house to buy it, I could get you one. Or knit one."

Dan lifted his head with a confused smile. "Are you serious? Can you even knit, Phil?"  
Phil shook his head and pulled his feet up onto the chair, resting his chin on his knees.  
"No, not really. But I could learn how to."  
Dan laughed and lifted his arms sheepishly. "Okay then? If you want to do it, go ahead. But I can't guarantee I'll wear it."  
Phil smiled happily; glad he could cheer Dan up a bit. "I'll go into town tomorrow and get wool and knitting needles. I'm guessing you want something black?" he asked and tilted his head to the side. Dan nodded. "Obviously. If I'm going to wear a scarf, it might as well match my personality."

They continued eating, chatting a bit more than before. When they watched a couple of old episodes of American Horror Story before going to bed, Phil gave Dan a slow back massage that made him purr and moan.

After having breakfast the next morning, Phil left the flat to go to the shopping centre, and returned with tons of black wool, needles, weird magazines about knitting and a lot of food they didn't actually need.  
Dan looked up from his laptop lazily when Phil entered the lounge carrying a mug of hot chocolate and his knitting things.  
"So you're actually doing this, huh?" Dan greeted him with a smug grin, and Phil nodded wildly, a serious look on his face.  
"Hey, don't make fun of me! I had to go through a lot of awkward stares at the checkout for this." Phil put the cup down on the couch table and dropped himself on the love seat with a deep sigh.

"Yeah, I bet." Dan let out a soft chuckle and leaned over to kiss Phil on his cool cheek gently before turning back to his laptop and rubbing his neck.

Phil spent the whole afternoon trying to figure out how to use his new belongings, and in the evening, about seven inches of the scarf were recognisable, and his hands hurt and his head was aching.

Dan had left him to his business about an hour ago and now strode back into the living room with a curious look on his face.  
Phil lifted his head when Dan sat down next to him and handed him a new cup of hot chocolate with 5 small marshmallows in it.  
"How's it going, bean?" the younger boy asked, eyeing the neatly knitted fabric in Phil's hands.  
Phil let out a deep sigh and buried his left hand in his slightly mussed up hair. "Not so bad, actually, it just… I haven't looked at anything but this scarf for 3 hours and now my neck hurts, too, and I'm starting to see small neon triangles when I close my eyes." he replied, his voice strained and getting louder by the second. Dan looked at him pityingly.  
"Can I help you somehow?" he offered.  
"Not really, I just- I have to get this over with. Ugh Dan, when I'm done with this thing and your neck has stopped hurting, I swear, I'm never knitting again in entire my life."  
He dropped his head back onto the back of the couch with a groan, and Dan grinned softly.

"If you hate it that much, why are you doing it?" he asked quietly, taking Phil's hand and starting to kiss his reddened fingertips gently.  
Phil tilted his head and looked at his boyfriend in an adoring but tired way. "So that you stop complaining about your stiff neck." he answered dryly, and Dan huffed a laugh.  
"Come on, Phil. Let's just go into town tomorrow and buy a scarf for me, okay? You don't have to do this." He tugged at the piece of knitting weakly, and Phil let go of it after a moment. Dan put it aside and climbed into his lap, putting his arm around Phil's neck and smirking down at him.  
The older boy looked up at him with wide, blue eyes, and Dan cupped his cheek with his hand, bent down and kissed along his neck softly, sucking at the pale skin and biting gently, causing Phil to shiver with pleasure as his mouth fell open in a quiet moan.

"You know what'd also help us and our necks?" Dan breathed into Phil's ear, making sure his damp lips were touching the older boy's earlobe to give his words more impact.  
Phil let out a breathy chuckle and looked at the back of the other's head that was still buried in the crook of his neck.  
"What's that, Dan?" he said in a slurry voice, and Dan giggled against his neck quietly, whispering "A nice, hot shower." before pulling away and getting up quickly to grab Phil's hand and drag him down the stairs to the bathroom.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And again, you don't get to read any smut. I'm such a horrible person. Don't worry, I think there will be some when I'll finally run out of fluffy headcanons. Which might just take a while.  
> I hope you enjoyed reading! Hugs! ♥


	10. What do you want for Christmas?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one's a bit angsty and I cried a little writing it, just because... my poor babies, just love each other, it's okay...  
> But anyway, see for yourself any enjoy!

December 10th

2011

"What do you want for Christmas?" Dan asked, turning his head to Phil as the other boy was pouring milk into two bowls of cinnamon cereal.  
It was 11am and they had just gotten up. The sky outside the living room window was overcast and almost white, the constant Manchester-blanket that gently reminded him that he lived in one of the most humid places in the entire continent, and he figured it was freezing cold outside, again, and windy.  
Phil put the lid back on the milk and stashed it into the fridge before sweeping his hair away from his forehead and stepping closer to Dan with a soft smile. He put his arms around the younger boy's middle and shied away a little as he said: "Nothing, really. I'm just glad I get to be with you." quietly.  
Dan blushed and leaned up to kiss Phil gently, snaking his arm around the other's neck and smiling against his lips.

2016

"What do you want for Christmas, Phil?!" Dan shouted, running after his boyfriend and giggling breathlessly.  
"I don't know! Nothing, really! Come up with your own ideas!" he heard Phil shout back and a door fell shut. 

Dan stood in the hallway, feeling a bit empty and cold without Phil there. He'd been asking him the same question over and over since they'd woken up at 10am, and Phil was pretty obviously annoyed.  
Dan remembered the same scenario 5 years ago, asking Phil about his Christmas wishes in the morning in their tiny apartment in Manchester, both a little tired and both happy and both in love.

"Nothing, really. I'm just glad I get to be with you." Dan said to himself in the semi-dark silence of the hallway, and something about it made him so, so sad, so sad that he just wanted to cry.

He crossed the hallway and took a deep breath, lifting his hand to knock on Phil's door softly. He waited for a beat, and then opened it to peak into the room. Phil was bent over his bedside table, searching for something and then lifting his head when he noticed Dan standing at the door. He straightened and glared at him with his arms crossed.  
"What do you want?" he snapped, and Dan flinched slightly at the tone of his voice.

"I understand what you meant, Phil." Dan whispered with his voice all croaky and wet.

Phil looked at him questioningly. "When?"

"The first Christmas we spent together in Manchester. I asked you what presents you wanted and you said that you didn't want anything, that you were just glad you got to spend Christmas with me. And back then I still got you a present and you still said that it hadn't been necessary, and now… all I'm saying is, I don't want any presents this year. I just want to be with you, Phil. Because that's enough, and it'll always be enough." In the end, his voice broke and a quiet sob escaped his lips, and Phil opened his mouth to say something, but nothing came.

"Oh, Dan…" he breathed and ran towards him, winding his arms around the taller boy and pulling him close.  
"I'm sorry, Dan. That's all I want, I'm sorry for talking to you like that. I'm sorry. I love you." he rambled, and Dan cried against his shoulder, shaking and panting, and holding on to Phil for dear life.

When after a while, Phil tried to pull away, Dan didn't let go. He still couldn't stop crying, and Phil didn't know how to calm him down, so he just pressed a kiss to Dan's hair. "Now that song is stuck in my head. All I want for Christmas is you, ooh… you o-ooh baby…" he sing-songed and Dan giggled wetly, sniffling and pulling away from Phil.

"True though." he huffed and Phil smiled widely.

"Are we okay?" he asked quietly, urging Dan to look at him. The younger boy blinked and nodded, smiling back. "Yes. We're okay."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I tried a bit of a different concept this time, and it turned out kind of messy, but I liked it, what about you? I hope you enjoyed it. I'd be glad if you left Kudos or Comments. Love!


	11. Heart eyes Howell

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And here's the chapter that was actually supposed to be the only one today! Enjoy reading!

December 11th

"Hello, DanandPhilgames schoolgirls!"  
Dan turned his head to Phil with an incredulous look. "Really? Schoolgirls? Have we really reached the point where we call them schoolgirls?" he asked dryly, spotting the camera in the corner of his eye and reminding himself to not stare at Phil as much as he did in real life, a thing that he had to do regularly these days.  
Even though there was really no way their fans could know the two of them were actually together now, he couldn't help but feel like he had some kind of label on his forehead that said "In a relationship with Phil Lester". He thought it was obvious and that in no time, somebody on Tumblr would have real footage of them holding hands in the background of somebody else's vlog. 

"What?! I thought it was appropriate, since all of them just begged for us to play Yandare Simulator again!" Phil replied, ripping him out of his thoughts, and Dan buried his face in the palm of his hand.  
"It's not appropriate to call someone schoolgirl in any situation, Phil. We're only ten seconds into the video and you have already insulted someone, oh my god. We really shouldn't be forced to upload every day, give people a chance to recover from when you called them rolling balls, Phil." he sighed, and he could see Phil mouthing "Sorry" at the camera before finally lifting his head and smiling at it. It was day eleven of gamingmas, and both him and Phil were running out of ideas.  
"But he's right; y'all just wanted to see us murder Japanese students again. So here we go."

They started playing, coming up with bad puns and joking around, making fun of each other and Dan was going insane. Something about Phil was particularly beautiful today. His voice was husky and deep and his lips slightly chapped, his T-Shirt tight and his hair soft and Dan found himself staring at him 70% of the time.

There are going to be a lot of gifsets with "Heart eyes Howell"-captions tomorrow, Dan thought, and barely heard Phil, who turned to look at him and ask him a question. 

"Dan, can you stop staring at me? It's making me nervous." he murmured, and Dan blinked, his brows furrowing.  
"What the fuck, Phil? You can't say that. I'll have to edit it out."

They stared at each other for a second, both confused and nervous and tense, and somehow, suddenly, they were sitting on the couch, Dan in Phil's lap and they were kissing hungrily, hands all over each other, in hair and under shirts. Dan was gasping and moaning as Phil kissed along his neck openly, sucking and trying to leave hickeys, marks, anything to make everybody see he was his.  
His head was swimming, and faintly, he thought about all the editing he'd have to do later, when Phil pushed him into the soft couch and unbuckled his belt hastily, his hands shaking, and his breath heavy.

Dan closed his eyes and tried to catch his breath.  
Reality was a bit alerted for a while.

15 minutes later, Dan put his T-Shirt back on and grinned at Phil widely, who was desperately searching for his second sock, crawling around on the floor.  
"Well, this spun wildly out of control." Dan sighed, and Phil lifted his flushed face, shooting him a glare.  
"You're the one who kissed me, Dan. I wasn't going to do it, but you kissed me first."  
"I'll just edit this out later… while you search for your sock, you can at least come up with something better than 'schoolgirls'."  
Dan giggled as he sat down on his chair again, knowing well that the conspiracy-theorist-side of Tumblr would have fun with the hickey Phil had left on his neck.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And again, I have decided not to use this perfect opportunity for full-on smut.  
> Wohoo, guys. We've actually passed the 10.000 word-count! Yeeeyyy!  
> But no, seriously. I feel so honored and blessed that y'all are still with me and reading my work. So proud of you (and myself for finally having plucked up all my courage to post my own writing on here). Thank you!!! I hope I'll see you tomorrow!


	12. Having a cold

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Day twelve of the Christmas Marathon! We're already halfway through this?! Time sure does fly huh...  
> Enjoy reading!

December 12th

Phil's cold feet were tangled in the sweaty sheets. He felt that weird sticky, kind of gross and ugly way that only sickness could make him feel.  
"At least the fever's down a bit…" Dan murmured with his hand on Phil's sizzling hot forehead. He was sitting on the edge of Phil's bed, holding a thermometer and eyeing his ill boyfriend with a worry between his eyebrows.  
Phil's reply was a muffled groan from underneath his blanket.  
"But I literally can't breathe, Dan. And I can barely hear anything." His voice was nothing more than a throaty whisper.  
Dan looked at his boyfriend tauntingly.  
"I told you you should've changed your wet clothes yesterday. You came back all soaked and when I told you to get changed, you wouldn't listen to me!" he snapped, pushing Phil's sweaty fringe away from his forehead and pulling a pitying face.

"You're not helping, Dan." Phil sniffled and buried himself beneath the blanket again, pressing his eyes closed and trying to free his head from thoughts. This was probably the worst he'd felt in years; he was slightly dizzy, his head felt like it was too big for his body. His nose was swollen and his throat aching.

"How can I help you, then?" Dan asked with a sigh, and Phil turned his head to look at him, his vision slightly cloudy.

"Can you make me some noodle soup or something? And read to me?"  
Dan stared at him.  
"Read to you? Are you serious? Phil, you're almost thirty years old!"  
Phil attempted to smile but failed miserably. His boyfriend let out a groan. "Okay, fine. Be back in a minute." he said softly, pressed a quick kiss to the black haired boy's forehead and got up, leaving the bed a bit too empty and Phil alone.

The older boy listened to the flat's sounds closely. He could hear Dan's steps down the hallway, could hear him get a pot out of the cupboard and put the kettle on, heard the clattering of cutlery and Dan humming a song to himself that Phil didn't quite recognize. It was 3 in the afternoon, and Phil faintly remembered that Dan had actually planned to meet up with Louise at 4 to film a collab. The sky outside was overcast as always, and Phil wanted to come with Dan to Louise's, to not be left alone in the too quiet flat, but he knew Dan would never allow him to leave the bed.

He could hear his boyfriend talk softly, either to himself or to someone on the phone, and soon he was half asleep with his eyes hooded and his mouth-breathing steady.  
He liked to think of it as a coping mechanism, so that he didn't have to think about being alone in no time.

"Yeah, I think he's got the flu… No, I have to stay with him, sorry. I'll call you as soon as he gets better. What? No, that is not adorable at all; I'm just not comfortable leaving him alone right now. Listen, I got to go. Talk to you later."  
There was the sound of the landline being hung up, and just a second after, Dan was in Phil's room again with a steaming bowl and his laptop.

"Hey bean!" he whispered and sat the food down on the bedside table. He sat down on the edge of Phil's bed again, eyeing his sleepy boyfriend. Phil looked back at him, his mouth pouted and his hair in his face.  
"Were you talking to Louise?" he mumbled, and Dan nodded, grabbing a pillow and pulling his legs up onto the matrace.  
"I told her I won't be coming over later. I'm not leaving you here if you can't breathe properly, Phil." he said, helping Phil to sit up and take the bowl.  
The new perspective of the room made Phil's feverish head spin for a moment, but soon he got used to it as Dan handed him the spoon and put a pillow behind his back to make him comfortable.

"So, since you asked me for a reading, I found this Fanfic where you're really ill and I get all protective and force you to stay in bed and watch old Disney movies with me, and it's really cute, so I thought I should read it to you." Dan suggested and looked at Phil with a grin, who was slowly sipping spoon by spoon of the noodle soup.

"Sounds like loads of fun." the other boy croaked, nuzzling into Dan's side and closing his eyes, so glad that he had a boyfriend who would cancel all his plans and read to him, even though he was thirty and should be able to take care of himself.  
Because sometimes he wasn't. Sometimes he wasn't able to take care of himself at all, and Dan knew that. And then he was there to make soup and help him continue when times got rough.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading and staying with me halfway through this trainwreck! I hope you enjoy what I do. I'll see you tomorrow!


	13. It’s just a bath, Phil

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Day 13 of the christmas marathon ( in which Phil is pressured into getting undressed this is some mean shit well not really but i feel kind of bad for what i wrote). Enjoy!

December 13th

“This is ridiculous.” Phil said, shooting Dan an unamused look and crossing his arms.  
“Why? It’s just a bath, Phil. And it’s warm, and it’s nice, and there’s foam and it smells of vanilla and I know you love it, come on…” Dan grinned at him wolfishly, snaking his damp arms out of the bathtub in an attempt to grab Phil’s jeans and pull him closer.  
Phil had walked in on him taking a bath with the intention to peacefully brush his teeth, and while the older boy had repeatedly apologised and spun on his heel to leave him to his business, Dan was very eager to get his shy boyfriend to join him.

The bathroom was moist, the air so steamy it was barely breathable, but Dan was right. It smelled of vanilla with a side note of tangerines, and whilst Phil generally avoided intimacy when it wasn’t absolutely necessary, he wanted nothing more than undressed and jump in with Dan.

“Come on… don’t be so shy, love.” Dan rested his chin on the edge of the bathtub, smiling up at Phil adorably. The black haired boy let out a sigh. Dan was definitely high on steam or something; otherwise he’d just have thrown Phil out and ignored him for the rest of the day.

“Fine…” Phil tilted his head back and unbuttoned his jeans, hearing the water slosh and Dan giggle softly.  
It was quiet in the bathroom as Phil hesitatingly removed his blue T-Shirt and stepped out of his jeans, leaving himself in his tight black boxers.  
After all this time, Phil was still not entirely comfortable when it came to undressing in front of Dan. When they were in the bedroom, it wasn’t that hard, because most times, Dan was too busy or aroused to actually look at Phil while undressing him, but here, there was no blanket to hide under or aroused need to slip behind of. It was just undressing, laying out all the flaws and scars and marks and dots of his skin in front of his boyfriend, and even though he actually knew Dan loved him unconditionally, he still didn’t quite understand the fact that someone found him sexually desirable.

Dan watched him the whole time with a smug grin, enjoying every second of Phil being nervous. It gave him a weird, blissful feeling of power, knowing that he could make the black haired boy all flustered and shy.  
Phil lingered in the middle of the room after undressing to his underwear; he stood there with his feet crossed and trying to cover up some of the skin, and at some point, Dan sat deep into the bathtub, only leaving his flat chest uncovered and smiled at Phil encouragingly.  
“The water’s nice, you know. You honestly don’t have to be that shy. It’s cute, but really not necessary.”  
Phil huffed a laugh, bowing his head and then quickly removing his boxers, kicking them aside and, in one movement, climbing into the bathtub to sit across from Dan. 

Their feet were touching, Dan tapping his toes on Phil’s a few times with a grin. It sent little chills up Phil’s leg, just the contact of skin on skin already able to confuse him. Dan was right, the water really was nice. It embraced Phil’s body hot and tightly, leaving the upper half of his body covered in goose bumps.

“And?” Dan eyed him curiously, cocking an eyebrow and relaxing a little, letting his long right leg slide to Phil’s side, and feeling the skin of his hip brush against his ankle.  
Phil nodded with a sheepish smile. “’S nice.” He replied quickly, touching the foamy blanket covering the bathtub. He was kind of glad it was there, because this way Dan couldn’t see what all this was already doing to him.  
Dan nodded slowly, humming softly and tipping his head back. “Makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside, this.” He bubbled, and Phil giggled.

“Warm and Fuzzy, yeah?”  
The water sloshed as he faintly touched Dan’s thigh underwater.

“Hmm.” Dan smiled with his eyes closed and Phil grinned, wondering where all his nervousness had gone. He suddenly felt like he was in control of this, and let his hand linger on the skin of Dan’s inner thigh for more than the appropriate amount of time.  
Dan reopened his hazel eyes. “You know, I really just wanted to take a bath with you.” He said dryly, and Phil blinked.  
“…but?”  
“But now…” Dan held his breath, lifted his hand and brushed it up Phil’s arm with a breathless smile. “Now I’m not sure what I want anymore…”  
Phil blushed a little, and put his other hand on Dan’s knee, leaning in, running his slightly shaky hand down his long thigh.

A quiet moan escaped Dan’s lips, and his torso fell forward a little, giving Phil the opportunity to finally put his wet hand on his neck and pull him into a kiss.  
It was sloppy and slow, the heat and each other’s touch making both of them especially lazy and dizzy.  
Dan snaked his hand down towards Phil’s waist, pulling him closer, their legs inevitably tangling and crossing, since the bathtub was just way too tiny to actually have comfortable room for two people if they didn’t want to cuddle up and make out.  
“We should do- this more… often.” Phil stammered in between kisses, the sentence ending in a slosh of water and a gasp when Dan curled both his arms around the smaller boy and lifted him into his lap.  
“Agreed…” Dan mumbled against Phil’s lips and broke away from Phil’s mouth that still tasted slightly like toothpaste, just to continue down his neck and along his collar bone, causing Phil to gasp and groan and make those tiny, blissful noises that Dan loved so much.

“You know… maybe we should… not- like not do this here but- upstairs, I don’t know…-“ Phil breathed, and Dan chuckled against his skin deeply, before nodding and pushing Phil off of his lap.

The loss of contact made both of them uncomfortable, but they didn’t want to waste any time, climbed out of the bathtub and left the bathroom, giggling and holding each other by their hands as they ran upstairs to Dan’s bedroom, dripping foam and water all over the carpet, causing the entire apartment to smell like tangerines and vanilla before they finally slammed the door behind themselves.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I did it again. But like, I ran out of time. I would have written smut this time, but really, I still need to study for my biology test. Thank you for reading anyway, I hope you enjoyed. Hugs!


	14. Turn it down

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Day 14 of the Christmas Marathon. Enjoy reading!! :)

December 14th

Phil pulled the pillow over his head and let out a frustrated groan. “Turn it down, Dan!!! It’s toxic!!!!” he screamed, kicking his feet against the wall that separated their rooms loudly.  
Dan didn’t reply, and turned the music up.

Phil dropped the pillow and asked himself why he didn’t use swearwords. Sometimes, Dan really didn’t deserve anything else. Yes, of course Phil loved him, so, so much, but Dan could be such a pain in the ass on some days.  
“Who allowed you to buy a CD that only plays Wham! and Mariah Carey? Didn’t I tell you to stop spending money on things I hate?! This is animal abuse!!!” he yelled and threw the pillow against the wall. He heard loud footsteps, and then his door was ripped open, followed by Dan storming in with a loud soundwave of “All I want for Christmas is you” right behind. Phil hid himself in his pillow again.

“Firstly, Phil, you’re not an animal, so if anything, it’s something like philabuse, and secondly, I am allowed to play whatever I want because we both pay rent in this place.” Dan snapped, walking up to Phil who lay on the bed quickly.  
Phil crawled backwards on the bed, and Dan grinned widely, throwing himself next to him onto the matrace.

Phil glared down at him.  
“You can be so annoying, you know that?”  
Dan nodded, his grin spreading even wider over his face.

Dan played the CD on repeat for over half a week, and even though Phil refused to accept it in the beginning, he got used to it at some point. He even kind of liked waking up to Last Christmas blasting through their apartment at 9 in the morning. Ironically, of course.

On the weekend before Christmas, Dan was planning to go see his family. It was that kind of gigantic Howell-Family meetup, and Phil thought of the one last year, where he’d accidentally knocked out Dan’s granduncle whilst playing around with a party popper with horror. He decided to take a pass on this one. And so Dan left for Brighton on Friday evening. Phil still stood on the platform, staring and waving a long time after the train had pulled out of King’s Cross station. It reminded him of the early days of their friendship, when Phil had lived up north and Dan down south, and they could only meet every two months or so. It reminded him of missing someone so much it hurt.

What their fans said, was true after all. They were rarely apart these days.  
“I think the universe would rip in half, Phil, let’s not try that…”

When he returned to their apartment, it was quiet and dark, the lounge being illuminated every now and then when a car passed down on the street.  
Phil put his keys into his jeans pocket and looked at their shoes, all lined up beneath the coats in the wardrobe next to the door. Only Dan’s black sipper-sneakers were missing.  
Phil swallowed and waited for a sound; the jingle of an annoying, 90’s Christmas pop song, a door falling shut or Dan yelling swearwords while playing video games upstairs…  
But there was nothing.

So Phil created his own noise. After taking off his shoes, he went upstairs and sneaked into Dan’s tidy, quiet room.  
There it was. That pain-in-the-ass CD, right on top of Dan’s stereo.

Phil grabbed it and strolled across the hallway to the kitchen, putting it on and making himself some hot chocolate.  
“Let’s not try that…” Phil whispered, thinking of brown hair and brown eyes with a smile as the first notes of “Last Christmas” erupted from the kitchen stereo.

When Dan came back on Sunday evening, Phil flew into his arms at the train station, tears in his eyes and snapping “Don’t ever leave me here again!”, which resulted in Dan huffing a laugh.  
“When I left I was ‘so annoying, you know that?’ and now it’s ‘Don’t ever leave me again’, Phil? What happened there?”

Phil grabbed his hand and shook his head. “I took your CD, I hope you don’t mind.” He then mumbled, Dan started cackling, and they left the station hand in hand, boyfriends nothing could separate.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow very cheesy much swooning. I hope you enjoyed reading! I'll see you tomorrow. Hugs!


	15. Secret Santa

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So yeah soz for failing at updating...  
> This is a Teenager-AU, so again, a bit of a different concept. Enjoy reading! :)

December 15th

"What's the matter, Dan?"  
Dan lifted his head and looked at his friend Louise, who was walking down the street with him. They were next-door neighbours, so they always went to school together.  
"Oh, nothing. I'm just a little nervous because of the thing, you know?" he smiled sheepishly, shoving his hands into the pockets of his jacket.  
It was a cool day in early December, the sun already hidden behind a thick blanket of clouds at 7am, and their hometown near Manchester was covered in a thin, powdery layer of snow.  
"Don't be. He won't even know it's from you, Dan." she said, nudging his shoulder with an encouraging smile.  
Dan shrugged and looked at the pavement.

"No, but he'll suspect, don't you think? I mean, who else would give him a note for a present? Nobody but me does stuff like that."  
They were talking about the Secret-Santa-Project them and their friends PJ, Chris and Phil had planned for the festive season. Dan was assigned to be Phil's Secret Santa this year, and he had decided to take this opportunity to tell his best friend that he had been crushing on him for years.  
Only Louise knew how he felt about Phil; she had been supporting him ever since he'd told her about the whole thing, always being there when he needed to talk to someone, always understanding and cheering him up.

"He might. But isn't that the whole point? Telling him that you're in love with him?" she asked, and he stared at her. "I'm not in love! It's just a crush, Louise!" he snapped, and she nodded with a grin.  
"Yeah, it’s just a crush, sure. I bet it has always just been a crush, the whole time. Over two years." She grinned widely, and Dan shot her a glare. She giggled, flinching and spinning on her heel when he grabbed a handful of snow and threw it at her face.

They made their way to the school grounds eventually, both covered in snow and laughing, and Dan noticed that she'd managed again to make his anxiety go away. They’d left for school early to have enough time to place their presents in their friend’s lockers. Louise, who was assigned to get Chris a present, left Dan’s side at the school gate, telling him she’d meet him in class.  
Dan nodded and waved at her with a smile, then shaking snow out of his hair and entering the building with his heart racing.  
What if Phil was already in school? What if he wouldn’t be able to find the piece of paper with his friend’s locker combination on it in his backpack anymore?  
Dan’s head was swimming as he walked through the almost empty corridors of his high-school on the way to his locker.

He was lucky; Phil wasn’t at their usual meeting place yet. Their lockers were right next to each other, which was how they’d met in the first place.

On his first day of high school, Dan had walked to his locker anxiously, with his shoulders hunched. He didn’t know anyone in this new school, and he was used to being bullied by older students, so he didn’t expect that to change in any way. He found his locker and started stashing his books, and was caught by surprise when someone opened the locker right next to him and said: “Nice haircut. I guess it suits both of us, huh?” in a northern accent.  
Dan turned his head to see a tall, grinning, black haired boy with thick-rimmed glasses in front of him, who had the same 2007-myspace haircut he did. The only difference was the direction of his fringe. The boy was wearing a black T-shirt with some band’s logo printed on it, a blue plaid flannel and grey skinny jeans just like Dan’s.  
Dan found himself smiling at him a little.  
“At least I won’t be the only person who gets called an Emo now.” He rambled, not sure what he was even saying.  
Thankfully, the other boy just laughed a bright, kind laugh and extended his hand.  
“Hey, Emo. I’m Phil.”

Dan smiled to himself as he opened his locker and got out his English and History book, leaning against it after closing it again.  
And this December I’m going to tell that boy I have a crush on him, Dan thought with a sigh, reaching into the back pocket of his jeans and getting the note. He unfolded it and read it again, once, twice.

God, it was cheesy and dumb and risky and generally not very clever to tell Phil he liked him that way, but he’d been keeping his feelings a secret for way too long. And he had planned this through. And even if Phil didn’t like him back, he would understand.  
Dan let out another sigh and reached into his pocket once more, grabbing the small piece of paper that said Phil’s name and his locker combo.  
Dan stared at it and swallowed hard. “I best get this over with.” He mumbled to himself, turning and unlocking Phil’s locker with shaking hands and opening it.  
His friend’s locker was decorated with band stickers and photos of his friends, and while Dan eyed it, looking for a place to put the note, he scoffed quietly. Typical Phil. The locker was all messy and covered in scribbles, and his books were all creased and in bad shape.  
“How can you live like this?” Dan murmured, straightening one of Phil’s books to create at least some symmetry in the boy’s mess, and after a moment just put the note into the shelf at eyelevel, the one Phil would see first. He put the present that went with it- a mixtape with some of Phil’s favourite songs on it- on top of it and then quickly threw the locker shut, with his knees almost giving in and his heart racing.

“I did it. I actually did it.” He thought, and looked at his shaking hands.

 

Phil was late for school that day, so he wasn’t very surprised to not find Dan in his usual spot at his locker. He pushed his way through the crowd on the hallway and opened it, surrounded by other students that were running here and there, trying not to be too late for class, shouting, feet tapping, and was greeted by the sight of a flat present, neatly wrapped in blue paper sat in the shelf right in front of him. He grinned, lifting his hand and taking it out carefully.

He leaned against his friend’s locker and opened the present reverently, with a slightly breathless smile on his lips. It was a mixtape, and Phil grinned when he read the track list in the back. A lot of MCR, Muse and Twenty Øne Piløts.  
And then he saw a small piece of paper that was still in the shelf. 

He frowned, and grabbed it, unfolding it and turning it because it was upside down.

“Be my present this year? -Secret Santa”

Phil let out a soft chuckle and folded the note again, shoved it in his pocket and crumpled the wrapping paper up, leaving it alongside the mixtape in his locker. Whichever of his friends had made the note was smart; they’d typed it rather than writing it and making its author easy to identify by the handwriting. It was cute, Phil had to admit, but his Secret Santa was probably just writing it to be cute.  
A small voice in the back of his head couldn't help but hope it was his best friend Dan who’d made the note though. Phil took his books, threw the locker shut and hurried to class, his head still twisting around the question who his Secret Santa was.

He was a panting and sweating mess by the time he arrived in the classroom (why the hell did this school have so many stairs). The lesson had already started, and after being shouted at by his English teacher Mr. Blake, he made his way to the back of the class sheepishly where his friends sat waiting.

“Hey, Phil.” Dan greeted him with a small grin and took his backpack off Phil’s chair next to him.  
“Hi.” Phil sat down with a sigh, sliding deep into his seat after dropping his bag to the floor. He turned his head to look at Dan, who was eyeing an old Polaroid camera in front of himself with bright, sparkly eyes. “Did someone actually dig up a Polaroid for you?! Wow, that’s so cool!” Phil breathed, sitting up again and eyeing the old thing with his best friend, who nodded.  
“I think it’s from PJ. He didn’t seem so excited when I showed it to him, so. What’d you get?” Dan looked up at Phil with a curious look. Phil got the note from his back pocket and handed it to Dan, watching him as he read it. The younger boy was chewing on his lower lip and Phil could kind of see a slight blush creeping up his cheeks. It was probably just because of the horrific air conditioning in the building, he told himself.

“Wow, someone’s really got themselves a crush, huh? Who do you think it is?” Dan whispered, giving the note back to Phil, who shrugged. “I honestly have no idea. It’s probably just a joke.” He lied, and was cut off by Mr. Blake throwing a piece of chalk across the room.

The next few weeks flew by, and Phil got a Totoro-Plush, some differently scented cocoas and a book about the developing of languages across the world. And every time he found a present in his locker, it was wrapped in blue paper, and a note went with it.

At some point, Phil knew it was Dan. Well, Dan hadn’t told him yet, but he just knew it. Nobody else knew that his favourite anime was actually not Attack on Titan but Totoro, and nobody else knew he was such a huge history nerd.  
He wasn’t quite sure how to react, though; he liked Dan, a lot, and yes, maybe there even was some romantic affection in that big pool of emotions he felt for that boy, but he wasn’t sure yet. 

Phil hadn’t ever considered being gay before he met Dan. He had never been in a relationship with anyone, neither girls nor boys, but he liked Dan, and it wasn’t all or nothing. Maybe Phil was bisexual, or pansexual, or maybe he just liked Dan no matter what was in his pants, just because he had saved him from years and years of feeling misunderstood, different, lonely. Maybe he just liked the boy; maybe he just liked Dan.

Phil didn’t have a lot of time to think about it though, because there were a lot of exams coming up, and Christmas was close, and then his mother got the flu and he had to take care of her because his father was at work and his brother had moved out in summer.

And suddenly, Phil woke up on the morning of the 24th, and he got dressed, and he ate breakfast, he went into town to get a present for PJ, and then it was 5pm and he said goodbye to his mum and went to Louise’s place, where him and his friends were going to have a party, with basically just the five of them sitting around Louise’s living room eating cookies, talking and giving each other their revelation presents.

Phil was running a bit late, and Louise opened the door, shaking her head with an ironically serious look. “Damn, Lester. Why are you always late? Dan has saved you some of the vanilla biscuits, but we’re already all out of punch.” She greeted him, stepping aside to let him in, and he took off his hat and grinned.  
“Good think I’ve brought some more.” Phil handed her a bottle of Christmas punch, and she smiled at him, satisfied.  
“Besides, time is just a construct, Louise, it doesn’t really matter.”  
Louise pulled a face. “It’s only 5:10pm and I am not drunk enough for you to talk about philosophy, Philip. Stop right there. And take your shoes off. My parents might not be home, but I don’t want you dragging snow and half Manchester around my carpet, you hear me?” She threw him a mocking grin over her shoulder and disappeared into the living room. Phil took his sneakers off and followed her after a second.

The living room was decorated with fairy lights, and a huge, dark green Christmas tree was stood in the corner. Phil lingered in the doorway for a beat and looked at his friends. No-one had noticed him standing there yet, they were too caught up in their conversation about Christmas traditions and if they were pointless or not. Dan kept saying it was just something Christians had made up to get themselves through winter, and PJ kept saying the companies had made it up to fulfil all their capitalistic Christmas wishes, and Chris and Louise both just thought Christmas was pleasant and beautiful and homely.  
They were sitting on the huge couch in the Pentlands’ living room, it was snowing outside, and they were all shone on by the beautiful, golden glow of the fairy lights, and Phil just couldn’t help but smile.

“I am so, so honoured”, he thought, “to have these four people in my life.”  
His eyes stopped wandering when they reached Dan.  
The brown haired boy sat with his shoulders hunched, his back pressed against a green cushion, his knees pulled up onto the couch, and was fiddling with his cup of punch. He was staring at Chris who was trying to make a point about gratitude, and he was wearing a black jumper and a weird Christmas hat somebody had probably forced on him. His eyes reflected the light, and Phil thought he’d never seen something so beautiful.  
When Dan noticed him standing in the doorway, he straightened and a smile spread across his face.  
“Hey you.” He mouthed, and Phil lifted his hand to wave at him with a grin before stepping into the room. “So, what’d I miss?” he asked, and hurried over to the couch, to sit next to Dan. Maybe a bit too close, but neither of them noticed nor cared.

“Chris is a capitalist!” PJ shouted, and Chris pouted. “No, I’m not! I just like Christmas, does that make me a bad person now?” The two looked at Phil, both searching for moral support, and he lifted his hands. “Don’t look at me, I like Christmas and I am not a capitalist. It’s doable.”  
The two looked at each other in surprise, and Louise shook her head. “Guys, let’s just be happy we get to spend this evening together, okay? Christmas is great, and you get to eat cookies. Stop complaining.”  
Dan looked at Phil, and he smiled. “What took you so long? I really needed some moral support on the anti-society front there.” He murmured, and Phil chuckled softly. “I got into an argument with a checkout machine. Don’t mind me, just screaming at a computer screen there, employee.”  
“Introvert problems.” Dan commented dryly, a smirk playing around his lips.

They all kept talking some longer, until someone asked “where all the presents were”, and they all went to get their gifts from their bags. After Phil had outed himself as PJ’s Secret Santa, he gave him his final present, a Hufflepuff scarf, which PJ commented on with a “You know me too well, mate.” and a tight hug.  
Everybody gave their last gifts, hugs and Merry Christmas’s, and in the end, only Dan and Phil were left.

Dan looked at his best friend, whose face was all red and bit his lip.

“I- I think you already know it’s me, Phil. And that… what I wrote wasn’t just a joke. And- I… I don’t have a present for you, but if you want…” he attempted, his voice getting more and more quiet by the second, and everything was silent for a moment, Louise, PJ and Chris all sitting around and looking at the pair on the couch with wide eyes.  
Dan lifted his head, slowly, blinking and smiling an apologetic smile.

“Be my present this year?” he murmured, and Phil’s heart paced up as he laughed, breathily, and took Dan’s hand, pressing a kiss onto the back of it tentatively.  
“If you want me…” he breathed, not able to believe this was actually happening.  
Dan huffed a laugh in relief that sounded more like a sob, and Phil bit his lower lip, and then, he was in Dan’s arms, his boyfriend’s arms, and he was smiling so hard his face was aching, and even though their friends were cheering stuff like “I fucking knew it!!”, “Do you two need some privacy?” or “About bloody time…”, soon starting to throw party poppers and candy at them when they wouldn’t stop hugging, he couldn’t help but feel like this was the best Christmas ever.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoyed reading!


	16. Phil was in charge

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hmm I'm not so fond of this one but I've been writing all day and I'm seeing smol neon triangles when I close my eyes so. Enjoy reading I will not change anything about this at least not today.

December 16th

Dan hated those movies Phil dug up every December.  
He couldn’t stand how happily the people always played in the snow and how they had those big houses and how they all smiled. He just hated Christmas movies. They were cheesy, they were fake, they were just really, really bad, and Dan could imagine so many better things to do right now. Like being on Tumblr, or watching that pirate-TV show he’d just started.  
But oh, no. Phil was in charge. Phil was always in charge.

Dan sat next to his boyfriend on the couch in the evening, and tried not to like the movie Phil had put on. Something like “The holiday” or so, some movie with Cameron Diaz, Jude Law and Kate Winslet. He just didn’t like it. He didn’t agree with it.  
It was a little cute. Just a little.

“I wish Jude Law would knock on my door and call me attractive.” Phil whined. He was leaning against Dan’s shoulder with his long legs spread out on the couch and his hands in his lap.  
Dan glanced at him and lifted an eyebrow.  
“Are you trying to make me jealous of an actor who lives on the other side of the planet and doesn’t know you exist?” he asked, grinning smugly and turning his attention back to the screen.  
“Why? Are you jealous?” Phil grinned at Dan, who shot him a glare. “No. Not of Jude Law, anyway. Maybe a bit jealous of the movie just for being more interesting than me.”

Phil grinned at him over his shoulder even wider.  
“More interesting, huh? If you dislike it that much, then how come you’re still looking at the screen?”  
Dan scoffed, nudging him and chuckling.  
“It’s what you wanted, isn’t it? Me watching that dumb movie of yours? Well, here I am.” He grumbled, crossing his arms.

They were both fully aware that neither of them was spending much attention to the movie at this point. Phil couldn’t stop smirking, and Dan was trying hard not to laugh.  
“But what if Jude Law for some reason would knock and run away with me or something? And you’d just be stuck in London crying because I’d have left you?”  
Dan punched Phil’s arm. “Why does your brain always come up with stuff like that?!” he shouted, giggling, and somehow, he turned, and Phil was sitting in his lap with his back to his chest now, and they were both laughing breathlessly.

“It’s my wettest dream, you know. You, me, Jude Law, a dark, steamy room....” He whispered, waggling his eyebrows seductively, and started cackling when Dan pulled a face and shoved him a little. “Eww, Phiil!! Now I’m scarred for life, thanks.”  
“Come on! You love it, don’t you?” Phil pulled his knees up to his chest, turned around and placed his hands on Dan’s chest with a breathless smile, which send chills through Dan’s body.

Dan shook his head with his lips parted a little and grabbed the remote, turning the blaring TV off with the hit of one button.  
“Not really. But there’s something I do love.”  
He pushed a strand of Phil’s black hair behind his ear, eyeing his pale, beautiful, familiar face. “And that is you. Fuck Jude Law. Who needs that guy when I have Phil Lester with me?” He grinned softly, and Phil touched his cheek with cool fingertips. The way Dan said his name made it sound as if he was the president of some country, some really important person. Maybe he was a really important person in Dan’s little world, he thought. Maybe he was more famous and admirable to Dan than some Jude Law.  
“Who needs Jude Law when I have Dan Howell with me?” Phil repeated Dan’s sentence, and leaned down to finally kiss that smug grin off of his boyfriend’s face.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you liked this chapter! Hugs! ♥


	17. Lullabies

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoy reading!

December 17th

Phil was awoken by Dan whispering his name.  
It was 3am, and Dan was spending the night with him in his bed again, because the heating in his own room was still broken.  
“Phiill…” Dan breathed into his ear once more, and Phil cracked his eyes open, reaching for his glasses on the bedside table and putting them on.  
Dan was lying on his back next to him, his brown eyes wide and sleepy. His hands were clenched around the ends of his jumper’s sleeves as he looked at Phil frantically.

Phil sat up with a frown, touching Dan’s hand and eyeing him sleepily. “What’s wrong, Dan? Why aren’t you asleep?”

Dan shrugged, burying himself further in blanket and pillow and blinking slowly. “I can’t sleep. I don’t know why.” Phil sighed quietly, and bent down to kiss Dan’s cheek softly.  
“How can I help you?” he asked, his fingers sliding into soft locks of Dan’s brown hair.  
Dan looked around himself and then turned back to Phil, smiling a tiny smile. “Can you sing to me? My mother used to sing ‘Dream on’ to me whenever I couldn’t sleep…” he whispered, his cheeks heating up, and Phil giggled tiredly. “Sing to you? You know I can’t sing, Dan, why would you want that?”

Dan frowned slowly. He looked so worked up, confused, tired and sad that it almost made Phil cry; what was going on in his mind? What…?  
“I love your voice, Phil. Even if you don’t, I do.” Dan whispered, and Phil’s lips parted, the corners of his mouth twitching.  
“Okay. Lay down, I’ll try my best.”  
Dan wrapped himself in his blanket with another sleepy smile, and Phil tucked him in, still with a grin on his lips, and then sat next to him, taking his cool hand and a breath.

“Dream on, dream on… soon this night will end. Dreams of Christmas morning are dancing in your head. Outside your window I can see a wonderland…” 

Phil’s voice was shaky at first, and it broke sometimes, but it was enough for Dan. Just like skype calls in 2009 had been, on a shitty laptop with an even shittier webcam, just like only seeing Phil once a month or not at all. It was always enough, Phil was always enough.

At some point, Dan fell asleep and Phil kept singing, with Dan’s hand still wrapped in his.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this one was pretty short, but I still think it's really cute. I hope you think so, too, and I'll see you tomorrow! Hugs!


	18. Thin walls - Part 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And agin I failed to update it in time. There's just a lot going on at the moment, soz guys. This is another AU because I'm running out of headcanons (seriously I said it before and I'll say it again if you have ANY ideas pleease tell me, there's just one missing! I'm desperate af and I will love you forever.) It is roughly based on 'Christmas in the room', a song by Sufjan Stevens, which is beautiful, so go check it out sometime. Enjoy reading!

December 18th

The apartment next to Dan's had been empty for over three months now. After the old lady who'd lived in it had moved to the retirement home, the door had been locked and the name tag on the doorbell was left plain.

Dan didn't mind. It was quiet in the evenings, and he could sleep in late in the morning. He could listen to his Muse and MCR all night and nobody would mind, simply because nobody could hear it. It was easier this way. He didn't have to listen to his neighbour’s phone conversations or sex, their shower singing or some loud coffee machine at 6am.  
It was peaceful; a peaceful, quiet kind of solitude.

That was, until Phil Lester moved into the apartment on the 19th of October.

Dan came home from university late in the afternoon on that overcast, wet day, and walked up the staircase of the apartment complex he lived in to find half a dozen cardboard boxes and two suitcases stashed up high in the hallway.  
Dan had his headphones and the hood of his jumper on, listening to System of a Down with a grumpy look on his pretty face and eyed the mess in front of the open apartment door next to his own warily.  
He was surprised to not see the hallway empty and dark as usual, but illuminated and stuffed with unfamiliar things. Surprised, curious, and mostly annoyed.

A neighbour? Really?

He had never been especially good at human interaction, his day hadn't been treating him very well, and he really wasn't in the mood to talk to someone, or meet the person the stuff and that gigantic houseplant in the red pot belonged to. Dan shuffled past the mess quickly and pulled out his keys with shaky fingers, panicking slightly as he heard footsteps in the next door apartment, coming down the hall. He unlocked the heavy wooden door as the next song started off on his iPod and hurried inside, slamming the door behind himself.

His heart rate had paced up a little; he wasn't used to running, not used to being confronted with the fact that he wasn't the only person around here. He wasn't good at being around other people, and anxiety came flying in every time he wasn't on his own.  
"Fuck." he breathed and kicked off his sneakers before hitting the lights and strolling out of the narrow hall into the living room. Dan dropped his jacket and backpack on the couch. His body felt limb, his clothes slightly sticky from the constant spray of Manchester-drizzle and he couldn't stand the horrific mess in his lounge.  
It was very unusual of him to not clean his flat every two days, but there were a lot of exams coming up, and even though he hadn't really done any studying yet, he liked to tell himself that everyone's apartments got a little messy when exam season came around.

Still, he decided to clean it now to pass some time. It would most definitely help his mental state, too.  
He strolled over to the stereo lazily and put his iPod on shuffle. Soon, the first notes of 'Car radio' blasted through the room and Dan grabbed a stack of law books from the couch table and put them into a shelf close to the wall that separated his flat from the one that was being moved into.

Dan stared at the white paint for a second and asked himself what kind of person his new neighbour was.  
The possessions had looked like a gentle person's ones, but the footsteps had been pretty heavy. What kind of person had so many houseplants and such a shitload of books anyway? Also, he hadn't heard any music from the apartment, and no voices. Who moved in on their own? Well, Dan had, but that was just because all his friends had stayed in Brighton after their graduation, everyone but Dan, who wanted to see some snow in winter and had decided to move up north to Manchester.

It might be some hipster with a beard and a plant fetish? Or a big, weird, old cat-lady.

Suddenly, Dan's thoughts were interrupted by a knock on the wall.

He jumped and immediately dropped the heavy books to the floor and on his feet.  
"Dammit!" he shouted, jumping up and down and holding his left foot in his hands with his face twisted in pain.

There was a quiet chuckle from the other side of the wall, and Dan frowned and pressed his ear against the bricks, hoping to not miss a sound. Tyler Joseph screaming 'AND NOW I SIT IN SILENCE' wasn't really helping.  
"Hello? Who's there?" he asked, trying not to sound too excited.  
"Hey, my name is Phil. I'm just moving in, would you like to come over and have a cup of cocoa or something? I haven't unpacked everything yet, but if you'd want to… I just saw you sneaking past my flat, by the way. You need to work on your ninja skills there.” 

A warm laugh escaped Dan’s lips, and he was amazed at how soft and deep a voice could be. Phil sounded like velvet fabric and tight hugs, and the guys voice did something to Dan’s heart that he didn’t even bother to try and understand.  
It did that flippy-over thing, and Dan frowned, backing away from the wall for a moment to grab the remote and turn off the stereo.  
He was back by the wall in no time, though, pressing his ear close to it and asking “Are you still there?”  
“Yeah.” It came from Phil’s side. “So, are you coming?”  
“I- I’d love to, but I’m- busy at the moment. Maybe some other time?” Dan heard his own voice stammer, shaky and strange, and he wanted to punch himself in the head.

What the fuck was he saying? He wasn’t busy at all. He was never really busy.  
He heard a sigh from the other side, and a shuffle, the rustle of clothes. “Hm, too bad. Just knock if you aren’t busy. Can you… can you put your music back on? And maybe turn it up a little? I really liked it.” Phil said sheepishly, and Dan blushed hard, even though the other couldn’t see him.  
Compliments always made him feel uneasy, and this one wasn’t any different.

“Yes, if you want to… That’s a strange thing to say, though. The old lady who used to live in your apartment always just yelled at me through the wall for playing MCR at 9pm.” He blubbered, and he believed to hear Phil grin a little as he replied: “Well, I love MCR, so that won’t be a problem. Anyway, I’ll let you get back to your business now. See you!” 

Dan heard the other boy back away from the wall, walk away, walk into the kitchen or the hall or the bathroom, and he felt like he had just hung up on a skype call with a friend who lived so far away. His head was weirdly empty as he walked back to the stereo and put the music back on; turning it up until he was sure Phil could hear it and then grabbing an empty pizza box and throwing it into the trash can.

“I’ll talk to him.” He told himself while the room grew emptier and the afternoon turned into an evening, “I’ll talk to him soon.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> \- To be continued -
> 
> Since this is spinning wildly out of control, (I've already passed the 1,200 wordcount again and this is supposed to be a tiny oneshot for fuck's sake I really should learn to contain myself the main plot hasn't even started yet) I decided to post this story in two parts. I hope you enjoyed reading!


	19. Thin walls - Part 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a sequel to the last chapter. The plot is connected, so if you haven't read it yet, you know where to find it. I hope you enjoy!

December 19th

Unfortunately, ‘soon’ was a pretty loose concept.

Dan didn’t talk to Phil the next day, and also not on the day after that. In fact, they didn’t hear from each other for almost two weeks. But Dan hadn’t forgotten, oh no. He’d just gotten scared. The longer he waited, the more anxious he became. 

On Halloween, Phil gave a party. Loud music and laughter was on the other side of the wall, sounding a little muffled but still way too clear and Dan was sat alone at the desk in his bedroom, with his head in his hands and cursing whatever it was that had made him this way.

Why was he like this? Why was he always waiting, never doing what needed to be done, what he wanted to happen? It was a fucking curse, and he wanted it to stop, but he didn’t know how to go back to normal. He had been on his own for way too long.  
Dan got up and started pacing around his bedroom with his hands in his hair and tears at the top of his throat.  
His head was swimming, he felt slightly dizzy. He hadn’t slept very well the last few days, and the flat was messy again. His lower lip was shaking, and small noises escaped his throat, sobs, but quiet ones. The kind where he didn’t want anybody to hear that he was crying.  
Not that there was anybody who could hear. 

He sat down on his bed and cried into his hands for a while, sobbing grossly with his mouth open and his hair plastered to his forehead.

At 11pm, the music on the other side of the wall stopped.  
Dan heard footsteps, goodbyes were said and the door opened and slammed a few moments later.

He lay in the dark with his hands curled around his knees and could still not stop crying. Whenever he tried to stop the tears or wipe them off, there were only more to take their place.  
Why was he like this? Why did it always come down to him being alone in the dark crying his eyes out with no one to hold him? 

“Are you crying?”

“This must be a dream.” Dan thought, slowly turning his head and facing the clean, white wall.

“None of your business.” He heard himself sniffle. There was a scratching sound, and a thud. Phil was probably leaning against the wall now.  
“Are you?” Phil asked, and it didn’t sound at all as if he was trying to make fun of Dan, which only made Dan want to cry even more.  
“Maybe.”

There was a stretch of silence between them, and then Dan heard Phil get up and say: “Don’t go away. Wait here.”  
What did the guy expect? For Dan to jump up and run out of the room or something? That wasn’t going to happen. Dan had nowhere to go, so why bother?

After two minutes, Dan heard steps on the other side again, and he straightened, leaning onto it and concentrating on the other boys breathing. Slow and steady. In, out. In, out.

Then, there was a metallic clang and just a second after that, a sweet little melody started playing.  
Dan’s mouth fell open in a gasp as his hand clenched around the sheets underneath his legs.  
“Is that…?” he whispered.

There was a soft chuckle. “It’s ‘Ingenue‘. I heard you play it on the piano and it made me cry and laugh at the same time, so I went and got myself a music box just in case you’d suddenly stop playing it someday.”  
A sob escaped Dan’s lips. He buried his slightly shaky hand in his curly hair and smiled widely.  
“Wow, that’s… Phil…”

“I know that I’m an idiot. You don’t need to tell me…” the other left the sentence hanging in the air, silently asking a question, and Dan remembered that Phil didn’t even know his name. He pressed his back against the wall, trying to imagine Phil sitting in the exact same spot on his own bed, with just the wall separating them. He took a deep breath.

“I’m Dan.”  
“Nice to meet you, Dan.”  
The brown haired boy smiled.

“I’d like to know what you look like.” he murmured after a beat of silence, and heard Phil inhale deeply.  
“Do you… want to come over? There’s some pumpkin spice latte left, and I think I still have some pasta we could cook.” Phil asked hesitatingly, a hopeful smile in his voice but unsure if Dan was ready to come into a complete stranger’s flat and have a midnight snack just like this.

Dan blinked. And he felt something fall shut inside his chest, something that had been opened by the quiet hum of a music box and a voice that reminded him of soft mornings and the first snow.  
“I can’t… I don’t want to bother you. Besides, I’ve been crying for half an hour straight, and that’s not something you want to see, maybe another time. Good night, stranger. Phil.” He mumbled, and without making sure Phil had heard him, he got up, grabbed his blanket and dragged it to the couch, where he tucked himself in and fell asleep with Phil asking the wall if it was okay.

 

They didn’t talk for a very long time after that.

Whenever Dan played ‘Ingenue’ on the piano, or listened to music, he played it a bit louder, making sure Phil would hear. Sometimes, he knocked on the wall when Phil was singing or watching TV, wanting to say things like ‘turn it up’, or when he heard the other boy crying from the other side of the wall. When December came along, they left notes in each other’s brief cases, saying song titles or movies the other just needed to watch, but they never spoke, not a word.

Not until Christmas Eve, anyway.

Dan knocked on the wall at 5:30pm, eyeing the gap next to his TV where the Christmas tree was actually supposed to go. He hadn’t bothered to put it up at all this year, since there weren’t going to be any presents to put under it anyway.

After a moment, Phil was at the wall, knocking back softly.  
“Hey you.” It came through the bricks. Dan smiled.  
“Hey. What are you up to?” he asked, leaning into the wall and crossing his arms and shivering slightly. It had gotten pretty cold in his flat over the weekend, and the heating was broken. Dan didn’t mind that much; he liked the cold.  
Besides, he was way too lazy to fix it or actually light the fireplace.

“Can’t you smell it?” Phil asked back, and Dan frowned, lifting his head and inhaling deeply.  
Phil was right; it smelled of delicious, sweet baking, a warm scent that made Dan think of his grandmother.

“You’re baking?” Dan grinned; the thought that Phil was the kind of person who spent Christmas Eve in their kitchen on their own, baking and listening to Sufjan Stevens, for some reason, filled Dan’s chest with warmth and made him so happy.

He heard Phil chuckle and pressed his ear against the wall, realizing just how lucky they were that the walls in their apartments were as thin as Dan’s upper arm.  
“Yes, I am. Listen…”  
Dan heard him shift on the other side.  
“I know you’re not that fond of being around other people, and that’s fine, but… if you don’t have any plans for tonight, or if you change your mind, you’re welcome to join. You know where to find me.”

Dan was pretty sure he wasn’t going to change his mind; he hadn’t changed it in the past two months after all. But Phil didn’t need to know that.  
Why was he still putting up with Dan’s shit anyway? Wasn’t he tired of inviting him over and over again and being turned down every single time? Why hadn’t he given up on him yet?

“Why are you being so kind to me?” Dan breathed, and Phil sighed.  
“I’m not. I’m just being selfish, actually. I know you are alone, and so am I, and I don’t know about you, but I think it’s kind of depressing. So why shouldn’t we be together instead? I mean, it’s not like some terribly big physical gap is separating us, is it?”  
They both laughed nervously, and Dan wanted to scream.

It wasn’t the physical distance. It was his fear. His fear of failing at whatever it was the two of them had here.

Dan knew from personal experience what fragile things human relationships were. They were the very thinnest of strings. Any kind of change or shift could break them, and Dan had never been very good at taking risks.  
He rather stayed in his cocoon of self-loathing and solitude than hurting the ones he loved, breaking, losing, being broken, being used.  
He rather hurt himself than others.  
And that’d led to him forgetting how to handle contact and affection.

Dan could have told Phil all of this right now. His moment was there, in the stretch of tense silence between the two sides of the wall after Phil had stopped talking.  
But he let the time pass, he wasted it fighting himself and his fear until Phil let out a startled sound, interrupting the silence.

“Oh, dammit! Sorry, I have to go, my cookies are burning. Really, I’m here if you make up your mind. You shouldn’t have to be alone tonight, nobody should.” Phil’s voice was hectic but soft. It made Dan’s lips curl into a sad and tired smile.

And then Phil ran into the kitchen, leaving Dan all alone with his thoughts and the decision he had to make.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> \- To be continued -
> 
> Ookay. I stand corrected, this one is going to be three chapters long, soz guys. Somebody give Dan a hug... I hope you enjoyed!


	20. Thin walls - Part 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a sequel to the last chapter. The plot is connected, so if you haven't read it yet, you know where to find it. I hope y'all enjoy reading!

December 20th+21st

After Phil had made his offer Dan immediately knew he wasn’t going to take it.  
He let his hand linger on the wall for another moment before pulling away and started walking around his flat without an aim, with no destination except getting away from the wall and the soft music coming to his ears from the other side.  
He strolled to the bedroom and could still hear it. The crackly twang of a guitar came through the thin wall.

Dan swallowed hard and looked around himself at his room, his life and the unhealthy dull way he got through his days. He staggered back to the living room again, imagining Phil on the other side, listening to him pacing around from his small, warm kitchen, and all Dan wanted was to have the courage to walk across the hall and knock on his door instead of his wall, the wall between their flats and in his mind.  
The scent of baked goods was in the air again, vanilla and chocolate and cinnamon, and he could still hear Sufjan Stevens singing, Phil probably humming alone, a bit off key, but still beautiful. 

“Silent night, holy night. Silent night, nothing feels right…”

What the fuck could go wrong. Seriously.  
Nothing, really. And even that terrified Dan.

He wanted to know what Phil looked like.  
He wanted to know what colour his favourite T-Shirt was, and where he’d put the houseplants, and if he’d actually hung up the gigantic ‘Kill Bill’ poster Dan had seen in one of the cardboard boxes on the day Phil had moved in.

The point was that the opportunity was there.

“Take it, Dan. Take the risk. Just this one time, everything might change.” Dan mumbled to himself.

And before he could change his mind again, he grabbed his sneakers and filled his pockets with keys and phone, quickly checking his fringe in the mirror in the hall before walking out of his flat and into the hallway to finally knock on Phil’s door.

He wrung his hands nervously, his heart racing and bouncing on his heels anxiously while waiting for the other boy to answer the door. He heard hectic footsteps, the music was cut off, and then the door was ripped open.  
And Dan found himself face to face with a literal angel.

The boy was smaller than him, as most people were, but he was still pretty tall. His skin was pale, almost white, and his hair was so black that Dan asked himself for a moment if it was dyed.  
Phil’s shoulders were narrow and a bit hunched in his red Nasa-T-Shirt; he had the posture of a person that spent too much time on the internet, just like Dan.  
And then there were his eyes, oh, Dan could compose poetry about them.  
They were big and kind, framed by fragile dark eyelashes and the as deep and blue-green as the sea.

“Dan?” Phil breathed, a wide smile spreading across his face. Dan smiled back at him, nodding, amazed at how heart-warmingly beautiful the other boy’s smile was.  
“I made up my mind.” He got out, and Phil nodded slowly, eyeing him.

“ I can see that, come on in. Would you like to have a cup of tea?”*

Phil’s voice was breathy, high-pitched and excited, his incredibly blue eyes wide as he stepped aside, letting Dan in.  
Dan stared at his feet that moved into the other boy’s flat by themselves, then stopped, waiting.

They stood in the hallway and looked at each other, both shamelessly amazed and smiling.

“It’s so good to see you.” Phil interrupted the silence, and Dan chuckled shyly, feeling a blush creep up his neck.

“Yes… you too.” 

They fell into silence again, but it wasn’t uncomfortable. They didn’t have to say anything to make clear how much they both loved being around each other, because Dan did. He had expected to feel uncomfortable and watched, but here he was, and it was amazing. He was still insecure, of course, but it was okay, because Phil probably was, too, and he really didn’t want to mess this up now.

At some point, Phil blinked and broke their eye contact, his lips parting. He took a breath to say something, but he had to make another attempt to finally blubber out a slurred: “A cup of tea?” as he stepped back and disappeared into the kitchen.

Dan thanked him silently, replied with “Yes, thanks.” and pulled off his sneakers and looked around himself curiously. 

The flat was way warmer than his, brighter, and stuffed with nerdy things. And ah, yes, there was the red-potted plant, right next to the big grey couch in the living room.

“So how long have you lived here?” Phil shouted from the kitchen. Dan heard him clatter around with cutlery and porcelain.

“Here as in Manchester or here as in this house?”  
He stuck his head into the kitchen, asking himself if he was allowed to join Phil, who was stood at the counter, poring hot water into two big tea mugs.

The black haired boy turned around halfway and threw him a grin. “Either one. I want to get to know you.” He replied. Dan blinked, shied away a little and crossed his arms.

“I- I’ve lived here ever since I moved from Brighton to Manchester two years ago. And I’m not half as interesting as you might think.”  
Phil shook his head with a scoff and turned his attention back to the cupboard he was searching for some scattered teabags.  
“Now, that’s for me to decide, don’t you think?”

He smiled at Dan over his shoulder, but Dan couldn’t smile back. He was too busy being amazed.

Whenever he said that sentence, people usually ‘Aaw’ed or threw him slightly pissed looks, as if he’d offended them in some way.  
But not Phil, oh no. No, Phil had a comeback to that sentence, as if he dealt with introverts on a daily basis. The guy never failed to surprise Dan. 

“I guess it is. Hey, can I help you with that somehow?” he interrupted Phil trying to carry milk, sugar and two filled tea mugs at the same time.

The other boy shook his head. “No, but if you insist, you can get the cookies out of the oven. There should be a towel next to the sink, you can use that. Please, don’t burn your hands on that tray. It’s probably hot as hell!”

Phil left for the living room and Dan gazed after him for a moment, lost in thought before grabbing the green towel he’d talked about and putting it around his hand to do as Phil had said.

Phil returned from the lounge and grinned at the hungry way Dan was eyeing the hot cookies. “Go ahead, take one.” He said with a chuckle, and Dan threw him a grateful look before grabbing one and taking a bite.  
“Oh my god, they’re delicious.” He let out a groan and Phil giggled again.

Dan looked around the slightly mess kitchen. Baking utensils were scattered all over the countertop, and there was a big glass bowl with some dough left in it.

“Shouldn’t we use up the rest of the dough? I’d like to help you.” Dan turned to face Phil, who was leaning against the doorframe watching him from behind.  
“I guess we should. Do you mind if I put my music back on?” he replied as he pushed himself off from the doorframe and came towards Dan, putting his hands on the brown-haired boy’s shoulders to push him aside gently.  
“No, no, of course not. I liked it, go ahead.”  
They smiled at each other. Dan’s shoulders were warm and tingly and he felt weirdly blessed after Phil had touched him.

They made three more trays of cookies from the dough Phil had prepared, threw flour at each other, giggled a lot and talked, drinking their tea whilst sitting on the kitchen floor across from the stove.  
After three hours, Dan knew that Phil’s last name was Lester and that he was 24 years old, three years older than him. He had a master degree in English language and linguistic, his brother’s name was Martyn and his mother’s name was Katherine. He was from a small town even further up north than Manchester, his favourite colour was blue and his favourite animals were lions. He often cried during cartoons. Christina holidays depressed him and he wanted to live in London someday and have a job that didn’t require him leaving his flat too often.  
He spent most of his time playing video games or on the internet, and he wanted to have a pet, a cat maybe, but his friend Louise kept saying that he’d probably accidentally kill it somehow.  
He was pansexual and loved space, books and popcorn.

It was 10:30pm, they sat on the kitchen floor across from the oven and watched the cookies inside it when Phil yawned and, lost in thought, snuggled into Dan’s side, resting his head on the taller boy’s shoulder with his tired eyes closed halfway.

Dan jumped and they pulled away, staring at each other, both equally terrified.

“Do we… is it oaky if I…- sorry, Dan…” Phil stammered, his face flushed, but Dan just stared at him.  
It hadn’t felt bad, just… so strange.

He wasn’t used to affection and contact from other humans, especially not ones that confused him as much as this blue eyed, gentle angel next to him.

“I- It’s okay, I think… I’m sorry, I just haven’t done all of- this in quite a while.” Dan smiled at Phil sheepishly, shrugging and sweeping his hair away from his forehead.

Phil frowned slightly. “All of… what?”  
Dan threw his arms around in an empty gesture, pulling a confused face. “I don’t know. This.”  
The black haired boy’s lips curled into a grin. “Yeah, me neither. We really can’t function.”  
They both laughed, and Dan nodded sadly.  
“But at least we can’t function together. Without a bloody wall in between.” He rambled, and Phil smiled at him happily.

They just sat and looked at each other for a while, and Dan had to work hard to keep his eyes away from Phil’s pink, slightly chapped lips. Ever since he’d seen Phil for the first time – which had actually been today, as Dan constantly needed to remind himself- he’d wanted so badly to just cross the distance between their mouths and kiss Phil, just to see how it’d be to feel something, just to find out.

The flat was silent except for their breathing, slow and a bit shaky now, the dishwasher’s quiet rumble and the kitchen clock ticking on the wall, second by second ticking away as the two boys in the warm flat couldn’t take their eyes off each other.

Their shoulders were touching now. Dan couldn’t quite remember when they’d gotten this close, but Phil’s body was warm and weirdly familiar, so he was definitely not going to be the one to move.

“I really like you, you know?” Phil broke the silence with a sheepish smile, eyeing Dan’s face and gently tapping the other boy’s knee through his black skinny jeans with his index finger.

“You do?”  
Dan laughed breathily and licked his dry lips quickly.

So quiet, that Dan almost asked himself if he wasn’t just dreaming all of this, everything that had happened on this strange, strange evening.  
It was snowing outside, and he was looking at Phil, and for once, for the first time in years, he wanted nothing more than to be closer.  
He wasn’t used to that. Wanting to be closer wasn’t him. It was this new Dan, the person he was with Phil. The person that sometimes took risks, or at least tried to. 

“Can I kiss you” Phil suddenly breathed, and Dan lifted his head. His lips parted in a quiet gasp that sounded so loud in the silence.  
So Phil had been thinking about that, too. So this wasn’t just Dan imagining things.

The younger boy shrugged and looked at Phil sheepishly.

“I’m… I’m rusty.” He murmured, and Phil huffed a laugh, replying: “So am I.” breathily.

Dan blushed and smiled a tiny, shy smile when Phil lifted his hand to touch the warm, smooth skin of Dan’s neck just above the collar of his jumper. It was as if Phil knew that was Dan’s soft spot. There was no way he could have known that.  
Either way, it was, and Dan’s lips parted in a small gasp that came out as more of a throaty, little moan than Dan had intended.

The corners of Phil’s mouth twitched. He dragged his fingers up the nape of his neck, sliding them into the soft, brown curls of hair at the back of Dan’s head.  
Dan hooded his eyelids and looked at his lap, silently begging Phil to not take his hand off of him as another one of those stupid sounds escaped his lips. The touch of the other’s cool hands sent shivers down his spine, and finally, Phil pulled him in with a small smile and Dan’s eyes fluttered shut as Phil joined their mouths in a soft kiss.

Even though it was surprisingly sweet and brief, Dan’s heart immediately paced up and started racing, thudding so loud that he was sure Phil could hear it. His head started swimming and his whole body felt light and slightly limb.  
Somehow, his arms found their way around Phil’s neck, pulling him in to deepen the kiss, an attempt made out of an aching need to be closer, to get more of Phil.

When their tongues met and the kiss became more heated, the feeling was just too good. It made Dan shiver and he couldn’t hold back the moans escaping him when Phil started kissing along his jawline and down his neck, sucking at his soft skin and biting gently. They were both panting, especially when Phil got up, forcing Dan to follow him and the backing him against the kitchen wall, pinning him in place with his hips while pushing his cool hands beneath his sweater gently, sliding them up and down his long, warm back. Dan gasped and tipped his head back, raking his hands through Phil’s black hair. He couldn’t open his eyes if he tried, he was too far gone.  
“Hey. Hey, Phil, do you… maybe want to…” he mumbled, his voice slurry with arousal, and Phil pulled back a little, looking at him with a worry between his eyebrows.

“What is it? Did I hurt you?” he asked, brushing his fingers along Dan’s cheek and eyeing him. Dan found himself being amazed at how fast the guy could go from sucking hickeys into his neck to asking if he was okay; it was such a surreal contrast that he couldn’t help but giggle breathily.  
“No. No, you’re not hurting me, not at all. I was going to ask if you maybe… want to like… you know… move this whole thing to the bedroom or something…” When he realized how dumb that sounded, he buried his hand in his own hair and looked at Phil, his pretty, flushed face twisted in anxiety.  
Phil gaped at him for a moment before his slightly swollen, pink mouth spread into a wide grin.  
“Are you sure? Oh my god, I thought you didn’t want to do something like that or that you thought we were moving too fast… which we definitely are, but honestly, I couldn’t care less…”  
Dan interrupted him with a kiss, and Phil let out a quiet groan, pulling Dan with him at the sleeves of his sweater over to the oven, turning it off quickly before burying his hands in the other boy’s mussed up hair and then dragging him along as he staggered backwards, through the hallway and into the semi-dark bedroom.

The room was filled with their panting and the matrace creaking quietly as they moved together slowly, carefully, always afraid of hurting each other.  
Phil had asked Dan again if he was sure about this about a thousand times before finally getting some lube and a condom.  
Dan was clinging onto Phil’s shoulders for dear life, both moaning and gasping as they made love for the first time in this late, very confusing night.  
Phil pushed Dan’s sweaty hair away from his forehead, bent down and kissed him, still thrusting his hips gently.  
They didn’t speak a lot during it; they just said each other’s names in breathless, hoarse voices and Phil didn’t mid, as long as Dan kept making those pretty little noises of bliss.  
Sleeping with each other was like pushing buttons. Somehow, they both knew exactly what to do. The movements just came to them, because even though they’d technically met each other that night, they still knew each other so well by now, they knew the spots that had to be touched and the places that needed to be kissed to make the other feel good.  
Phil was so careful, so tender that Dan had forgotten all about being nervous. He just hadn’t been prepared for this.

He hadn’t known he felt like this for Phil, or that Phil felt like this for him. And maybe the other boy hadn’t even known until tonight.  
And maybe they were moving too fast and maybe this would be awkward and another regrettable moment in his life when he’d wake up in the morning, maybe he was high on cookie fumes or Sufjan Stevens, but he really didn’t care what problems it’d cause. He felt like they’d solved one thing, and that he was glad they had.

He didn’t want to think about what would happen in the future, or if this meant that he loved or was falling in love with the other boy; he just wanted to be here in the green-dressed bed in Phil’s fairy-light-lit bedroom, in Phil Lester’s arms, here where reality was a bit alerted and where it didn’t really matter that he held a boy in his arms instead of a girl.

“Phil…” he sighed as Phil kissed the soft spots on his sensitive neck, nipping at the soft skin gently.  
“Dan…” Phil answered breathily, because somehow, their names already went together, and he just couldn’t bring himself to separate them.  
It was slow that night, slow and loving and good, so good that even afterwards, they didn’t want to sleep. Dan had asked himself if he was supposed to go back to his flat for the night, but Phil hugged him close and kissed his swollen mouth, and he took it as an invitation to stay.  
They just lay in the dark for a bit longer, limbs tangled and fingers intertwined, still sharing sloppy kisses, all hands and breathing and soft, swollen lips on skin and mouths.

“Merry Christmas, Dan.” Phil whispered into the other boy’s ear when they grew tired, spooning and holding hands in Phil’s dark bedroom.  
Dan turned his head to face Phil, who was cosplaying as a backpack and smiled a content, sleepy smile.  
“Merry Christmas, Phil.” He replied after a moment, and Phil nuzzled into his shoulder, shutting his eyes. 

Dan looked at the window. It was still snowing outside, and he could see his own flat, dark and quiet as he’d left it six hours ago, and as he’d return to it in the morning to get his toothbrush. It was snowing on the other side of the wall, too.  
But Dan was here, with Phil, on the side they shared.

And he was finally, finally at home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There you go. There you have my shitty smut. You asked for it (nobody asked for it, Marlene that was just you talking to yourself again...).  
> I know I still owe you like at least two chapters, but I hope the facts that this one is over 3,000 words long and it has (crappy soft) smut in it make up for that. Let's call it even, okay, I have so much other stuff to do and I'm sick so please... o_O
> 
> I feel so happy and honored you enjoy reading my work and I am very proud of you for putting up with my shit. I will definetely miss writing every day when December is over; but I will keep posting. I'm blessed to have you with me! Hugs, y'all! I hope you enjoyed reading and I'll see you tomorrow, when things are finally back to normal.


	21. I didn’t think we’d get to see any this year

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've been very busy lately getting presents and generally preparing for Christmas and being ill, so I hope it's okay that I won't post yesterday's chapters today or ever because tbh who really cares. You're getting your chapter today please don't hate me, writing every day is fun but also bloody exhausting...  
> Soz.  
> But anyway, I hope you enjoy reading and happy Christmas Eve Eve y'all!

December 23rd

They were on their way home, walking up the stairs in front of the subway station shaking with cold and exhaustion after a long day of work in the city when Dan saw it.  
The white, thick flakes settling in his boyfriend’s hair and on the pavement and on his jacket, on cars and on streetlights and on fences.

“Phil, oh gosh, look!” He grabbed Phil’s wrist with a childish glow in his eyes and when Phil turned his head to face him, he pointed at the black night sky.  
The older boy lifted his head as they stopped walking at the top of the stairs, people passing around them as they both stared at the sky dreamily, eyeing the snowflakes coming down over their hometown.

“I didn’t think we’d get to see any this year.” Phil breathed, and Dan tilted his head to see the other boy smile.  
“Me neither. It’s been so warm lately, I thought there was no way in the world I’d ever see a snowflake again…”

Dan felt Phil’s warm hand sneak into his, tangling their fingers and Dan suddenly thought of 2009, of how things used to be, and of how far they’d come. He could never have made it on his own, never without Phil.  
Dan couldn’t imagine what’d have happened if he’d never met him. Their lives had been tangled for over 7 years, and Dan couldn’t imagine himself being a lawyer or anything else.  
This was where he was supposed to be. With Phil. 

“Let’s get going, Dan. It’s getting cold.” Phil murmured after a while, and they decided to take the longer way back to their flat through the park, to show their respects to the snow properly, as Dan said. Phil was cold and all he actually wanted was to get home, but Dan’s smile hadn’t been this wide and bright in quite a while, so he kept his mouth shut and slung his arm around his boyfriend’s waist as soon as soon as they were in the cover of the trees.  
The walked silently, wrapped in each other’s arms, and surrounded by bushes and dark and the quiet, white snow that fell and fell to the ground and looked like it was there to stay for a while.  
The noise of the city seemed so far gone here. They were together, in their world alone, and no one could harm them.

When they came home, they tried to keep some of that healthy, deep silence of the park and hardly spoke at all.  
They slept in Phil’s bed together again, because Dan’s heating was still broken. It was the night before Christmas Eve. The snow made the whole city sleepy and quiet and buried it underneath a blanket that swallowed all the unpleasant noises.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What a short chapter. But so quiet. I loved it.  
> I hope you enjoyed reading this as much as I enjoyed writing it. Goodnight and I'll see you tomorrow. ˘ ̮ ˘


	22. Christmas Eve

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope y'all are feeling festive and stuff and enjoy reading!

December 24th

The festive season had come to the point where everything about it just pissed Dan off.  
It was the December 24th, and he had been running through London's shopping malls the whole day, chasing after some last minute Christmas presents.  
His hands were stiff from the cold and his nose runny when he finally got home to their flat.  
He frowned and sniffled after closing the door and taking off his coat and sneakers; it smelled of cinnamon and tea in the stairwell. The smell came from upstairs, where Dan could hear somebody speaking faintly, probably a movie or Phil to himself. The voices were muffled, but Dan believed to hear Haru's deep, husky voice and somebody laughing.  
That was typical. Phil was watching Free! on Christmas Eve. Wow.

Dan shook his head to himself, let out an exhausted sigh and started ascending the stairs.  
The smell got stronger, and when Dan opened the door to the lounge, he saw Phil all cuddled up in his blanket and sipping a steaming cup of tea carefully.  
He was surrounded by open boxes of Christmas decorations and he had already assembled their not-yet-so-rave tree and yes, Dan had guessed right, he was watching Free!.  
When Dan came in, the blue-eyed boy lifted his head, paused the anime and grinned.

"Hey. You started without me?" Dan asked discontentedly, and Phil shrugged underneath the blanket.  
"You weren't here, were you? I didn't even decorate it yet. How was your day, bear?"

Dan let his stuffed backpack slide to the lounge floor and waddled over towards the couch, dropping on it with a groan and shutting his eyes.  
"Busy."

He could feel long, warm fingers slide into his brown hair and smiled faintly. "Would you like to have a cup of tea?" Phil asked with his voice and his hot breath close to Dan's face, a grin in his voice. Dan shivered and nodded.  
He heard his boyfriend get up and walk out of the room and reopened his eyes, letting out a throaty, dinosaur-like sound. Which person in London had sneezed on him? His nose was so stuffed that he had to breathe through his mouth.

He sat up shakily and eyed the Christmas decorations. Phil returned from the kitchen with Dan's tea soon.  
"So, do you want to get this stuff up there?" he suggested, bending over and ruffling the tired brunette's hair. 

Dan smile sleepily and nodded. For Phil, he told himself. Tomorrow by noon this whole Christmas-thing would be over.

They started decorating the lounge with tinsel and the tree with baubles, fairy lights and stars.  
And even though Dan tried hard to keep reminding himself of how much he disliked the idea of presents and Christmas and holidays in general, with every bauble he hung on the tree, and every look he had at his childishly wide smiling, happy boyfriend, his heart got warmer and warmer and he had to smile, just like Phil.

Everything about that boy he had in his life was intoxicating. His smile, his laugh, his happiness, and all Dan wanted to do was to be close to him forever, hoping some of that warm light surrounding Phil would transfer onto him.

Afterwards, they stood in front of their infamous rave-tree, curled up in each other's arms and looked at its glow in the semi-dark lounge and outside at the snowy rooftops and the city lights in the distance.

"God, Phil. I'm the luckiest Man in the world." Dan suddenly whispered, barely audible, and Phil tilted his head slightly, glancing at him.

"Why is that?"

"Because I have you."

Dan saw a smile spread across the other boy's face as he nuzzled further into his side, hugging him even closer.  
He bent his head, pressed a kiss into Phil's black hair and couldn't help but smile, too.

It was snowing outside, again. The lounge smelled like tea and baking, and slightly of Phil's cologne.  
It smelled like going home.

"I am blessed to be alive at the same time as this boy." Dan thought and buried his face in the other's hair, happy and content and safe in his lover's arms on this snowy, cold Christmas Eve.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoyed reading. Since this was the final chapter (oh god), I wish you all an awesome Christmas Eve and the happiest of holidays! ♥

**Author's Note:**

> So, this is it.  
> The End of our Phan-Christmas Marathon.  
> Thank you so much for reading this, I dedicate this story to all of you, I had a great time writing it and I hope you had a great time reading it, too. I don't quite know what I'm going to do with my existence now that it's over, but I will definetely keep writing and posting, so if you liked what you read, I'd be honored to see you in the comment sections of future fanfictions.  
> Thank you for supporting and reading my work. Happy Holidays! :-)


End file.
